Hey everybody, 

I've never really tried using the LOA before and not with something this big anyway.  Let me give you a run down of the situation I'm currently in, I would love some methods on how I can become more positive and manifest my ex-boyfriend back into my life.  

November last year my boyfriend broke up with me, he said he wasn't really feeling it and said that age was a factor (I'm 20, he is 27).  We never really communicated and opened up to each other and my best friend said that's probably the reason why we didn't work the first time.  

When he broke up with me, it was completely unexpected, we went from being happy, spending days together to nothing.  I picked up on something though, when he was saying getting up to leave, he came up to me and gave me the tightest and longest hug he had ever given me.  For some reason, that hug made me question why he was really doing this.  It didn't feel right, I felt as if he didn't want to do it.  

We didn't really speak for a while, occasionally sending snapchats to each other but no conversation.  Not until recently.  I ran into him at a pub two weekends ago, in my mind, I knew that I really wanted to see him, I wanted him to see me and to hopefully miss me, miss us.  Anyway, I didn't see him until he shouted out and waved me down.  I went over and said hi but I became very upset and anxious.  I wanted this to happen but I freaked out when it did.  My best friend was with me at the time and he tried to keep the conversation going with the three of us.  There was an awkward silence and then my ex decided he was going to grab a drink of water.  I was unsure if he said he was coming back or not but I was freaking out so much that I ran.  I feel bad about that... 

Friday just gone, I sent him a message, we had this thing where we would send each other funny memes and make each other laugh.  It went on for about 45 minutes and then there was a radio silence.  The next day I had paintball with my friends, when we drove home we made a pitstop and picked up some donuts.  I sent out a snapchat and he replied, saying "Feel free to bring some around".  I had a few too many so I said I could if he wanted, because I knew he liked them.  Radio silence occurred again.  

Sunday I noticed he had posted some rather odd videos on his snapchat, things like two girls making out in the car he was in etc.  These were things he never posted or even cared about, he was a very kind and caring man, he was always careful about what he posted.  I was hurt to see this needless to say, I dismissed it as just odd behaviour, him acting out etc.  That same day I began no contact and started becoming more positive and trying to attract him back more.  

I ended up sending him something by accident yesterday, only to receive a reply within seconds, I replied to him 10 minutes later and then he replied again almost instantly.  This made me feel good, I felt as though things were starting to look up for me manifesting him back.  

As I type this, I should also tell you that yesterday 3 things happened, 3 things that I feel might have been the universes way of testing me.  First I found out my bank card had had transactions charged to it and my card was cut off, my boss said that my pay for working this week was for next week (lack of communication there) and last but not least, I found out my ex had been intimate with the two girls kissing the night of the video.  I felt crushed, I loved this man with all my heart, no matter how much I tried to move on, my love for him wouldn't go away. 

Needless to say, after finding out that this happened, I'm having doubts and feeling rather low about it.  I want to be with him again more than anything, I love him so much and I know in my heart and in my gut that things aren't finished between us.  

How can I stop the fear and the doubt?  How can I become more positive and have him come back into my life as my loving and caring boyfriend.  What tips and advice do you have, things i can do each day to make this my reality! I do like writing so what kind of things can I write down?  Please help me!