Today is day 20 for me of the challenge and I used the YouTube music video Ace posted the other day to visualize my wedding. If you haven't visualized to this music yet, you must try it! It is so moving. The music really carried my emotions into the visualization and I just felt real love coming out of my guy, myself and my friends and family. I haven't cried at all since the breakup ( I believe this is because I know that we are meant to be together and it will all work out- even though I am impatient) and I totally got teary at the raw emotion of my wedding with my parents crying, me crying and my guy crying. It was beautiful and true. It felt so intense and real. I am not sure if it's because I've gotten better at visualizing but this is the one was the easiest for me and the one that I really felt the most.  I know he had to feel the emotion from it.  Prior to doing this, I did a quick PW session, which left me feeling very loved. Then I did Veronica's Manifest A Text video because I am trying to nudge my guy along. Then I did the wedding visualization to this moving music and I just poured everything in my heart into this visualization. It has been over an hour and  I still feel it. I have a total sense of calm, peace and a feeling like "it is done".

Even though I really believe it and know it, I have been struggling with those little bits of doubt or more like desperation creep in when I don't want them to. You know the whole, well I've changed, I am ready, why isn't he calling me, let's speed this up thing. My guy is stubborn and methodical and slow to make changes and we have obstacles (long distance and currently dating someone else or was when we last spoke a few weeks ago) so I have been trying to rewrite that in my visualizations and scripting. I know that's where my desperation is coming from even though I know he still loves me and cares for me.  I watched Veronica's How to Manifest Fast video again this morning. She was right. As soon as you set your intention, self-defeating thoughts pop in despite your best efforts on occasion. I took these notes: 1)Hold the intention. 2) Refocus the doubting and self-defeating thoughts- I am not going to listen them because I know it's trying to bring me down and delay my manifestation. 3) Feel like it's already been done and be ready to receive.

I really took this video to heart and then with today's beautiful visualization,  I feel that I'm in a better spot to recognize and remove my self-defeating thoughts. Recently, I found some things he had given me early in our relationship that I had forgotten about and they made me feel so cherished. It made me realize how much negative energy and thoughts I had been hanging on to for so long that I've released through this process. I am in such a better place, I am such a better person and have so much more love for myself and am ready to receive love now. The past few days, I have been seeing specific things that I believe are signs that are unique to our relationship on TV, in a video, etc.  And then earlier today, I was in my supervisor's office, I was looking at a picture that I have seen at least 100 times but today for the first time, I noticed that there was a bus with his name on it  in the background.  I am not looking for signs or focused on seeing them but I think that I am more open to them and I am finding comfort in them. I fully believe that I will hear from him very soon.