Hi guys. I need lots and lots of help right now. I am so sad and depressed...So please  please help me.

   I found Veronica's videos less than a month ago and since then I've been manifested a lot of things! I wrote it on "manifested solutions and couple more things" but I've been going through a lot of personal problem (school, finance..etc). I kept good attitude and I visualized until it felt so real. I could almost taste my man back to my life. I knew he was going to come back! There was no doubt in my mind that he would come back to be with me.
 
    I currently live in the US even though I am from Japan. I have been living here for almost 9 years. However today I found out that I am going back to Japan. I knew there was a chance I am going back, so I visualized and asked universe to bring the solution. It's not 100% but 98.9% its already have been decided that I am going back to Japan. I love Japan but since I was a little girl I never felt comfortable there. I always felt like an outsider and felt like I don't belong there. I am still trying to stay positive but I don't know how or what to visualize or what to do affirmation on anymore. If I go back I don't know what my life is going to be since I don't have "home" anymore. I left there when I was 15 and never had a job there. I am so scared and sad even though I am trying to tell myself "things are always working out for me". The part of reason I am also sad is because I don't think I will ever get to be with my man anymore.  This whole process I never ever had a desire to contact him because I knew it was gonna come. However as soon as I found out I'm pretty much leaving I texted him... I told him I'm leaving and wanted to talk for the last time.... I actually had deleted his number so I re-added on my contact and put  next to his name. at least for the last time I just wanted to feel that he is MY man. ( I visualized putting this emoji next to his name when he comes back so I guess it worked...??) I know if I go back, he will never contact me and we will loose the connection. He will never come visit me due to his states of living in the US...Even though he was trying to come up with the solution for me to stay at this point, things are looking not the best direction. I felt it guys... I even visualized the solution for this whole going back to Japan and I really really felt it....It even half way manifested the solution....  I thought I knew it's coming and was on track.... 

sorry It got so long. Can anybody give me any advice on what to visualize now and what to do affirmation on? Because I'm so lost right now.... I can't even imagine what is going to happen tomorrow...