This may be a longer post so bear with me. It starts off so so in vibe terms, but boy does it get better.

I've been at this for about two months now. I look back at my first day. Yikes. Obsessive, heartbroken, I was a wreck. I read lots of posts. Watched tons of videos. All in hopes that I would find that last but of information to get her back. Then I found it. Eckhart tolle, acceptance and surrender. I immediately felt peace listening to his wisdom.

Christmas came and I was so happy to be with my family. I have a big family so it's rare that a lot of them show up but almost everyone was there. About 20 people all in one home. I could feel the love in the air. Though I felt this overwhelming lack. She wasn't there. I got home and cried. It was a little strange because this time it felt really good to cry. I was frustrated though.

I decided that I was going to write her a letter. I would put in it how I love her, but I didn't need her for my happiness. I was going for that closure so I could eliminate the only thing I feared in life. I was going to intentionally let her go. Completely. It was killing me to do all these practices and check on it to see if it was "working" like I said before I was doing all these things for her. To make something happen.

I felt at peace after I wrote out how I felt about her. I then let her go. There's a zen master out there for me anyway because that's what I want. I felt really good. My body was light and my heart energy was way open. Something that hadn't happened in a while. I felt the shift within me.

The next day came and with it work. I woke up and re affirmed that I wanted to let this go and just be happy. I felt at peace the whole day. It's such a good feeling. I'm getting fuzzies just thinking about it. She was scheduled to work that day too, but half an hour after I left. Well the universe lined something up without me even wanting it. I had to stay an extra half hour so another manager could get some breaks done. Weird right? Well it came time that she started and was working not 3 feet from me. I was thinking nothing but the moment. I was staying in my vortex. Something wonderful happened in that moment while I was next to her. I felt a warm love flow through my body. I was shocked because I wasn't thinking about anything to evoke this emotion. It was just there.

Well this is a longer post lol. I really want some input though so please and thank you

I wanted to jump back into. This time with a different attitude. Sometimes when I meditate I'll slip into visuals and I'm with her. It feels so real and I don't even ask for it. When I'm alone I like to practice sitting in silence of thought and feeling the aliveness in the body. I feel so giddy and my heart just opens up and pours love into me. I also find myself affirming she loves me and my response is yes I know. Yesterday I was even thinking about what I was going to put in my success story. I wasn't even trying to think about it my brain was doing it on its own. I see what they mean now by making your brain your servant.

This is it right? I mean I really don't care if I get her back, because I stopped seeking fulfillment in the physical world. I don't need her back because I've found myself and my own happiness. Already our relationship with each other improved. Instead of not talking to her all day at work we talked a lot yesterday. I didn't feel any tension either and my friend says I even glow with positivity.

Anyway thanks for reading and I'd love input thank you everyone and a special shout out to Mave. Thanks for being there for me when I had low moments.