Cherished,

I haven't really visualized or mediatated at all the past week? Is that necessarily a bad thing? I've been very lazy with it after my whole thought process of making myself important and putting myself on a pedestal. I have been solely focusing on my own happiness. So I don't know if not setting a time of day for if is a bad thing.

Last edited by CarpeDiem (7/27/2015 7:45 pm)

I think about him randomly during the day and imagine him with me so that would be my sortie visualization.

Visualizing/meditation sessions don't feel like a chore. It's more so lately I've noticed I I have a hard time focusing or I fall aslee. I have been so focused on myself that I just haven't had the time. And i fee so much happier now that I have made myself a priority so I know that's a huge positive for me. I do feel great and feel like I am still in the right direction.

I still don't even have a vision board /:

I will start my visualization a again and set a time now to always go to. I'll give an update.

Last edited by CarpeDiem (7/27/2015 8:29 pm)

I was deep cleaning my room last night.

I know I was told not to dwell in the past but I never really talked to my ex face to face about our break up. He didn't want to see me at all.  he told me to keep his things etc., keep any money I owed him, etc. anywho I got over it. Took a lot of time but I can say I am okay with it now.

Anyways the stuff I was going to return him right after our break up is in a box in my garage.

So I knew I alreadyhave some of his things.

Fast forward to today a few months later I decided to deep clean my room because I am redecorating and organizing. Anywho while deep cleaning I found a lot of things from our relationship that I forgot existed. And I found a lot of his things too.

We are both huge Disney fanatics and I have never met someone who had such a deep love for Disney like him. He and I collected every pin and any limited edition item, we practically lived at Disneyland (we went so often it was not even funny)

I wasn't sad in the slightest finding all of this things. I found maps, movie tickets, everything you can think of. I am such a huge pack rat I keep everything. I treasure things from any memory I have in my life. A lotof it are MY things but I have so many memories and connection with him through all these items.

While rummaging and cleaning my closets I did find a lot of his old shirts (I thought he had all of them).

I laughed because a lot of these clothes are from the times he would sneak over and spend the night. (I know shame on us lol) oh how I loved those nights. That would be our time together when we couldn't see each other because of my heavy school load. I am such a busy college student and live at home. But my parents would've collected my head if they knew lol. I love my parents but they are strict. But I thank them immensely because it's helped me always pursue and education. I know him sneaking over sounds very naughty but I would be so happy to be able to cuddle up next to him after a stressful day of classes. It would make me so happy to just be that close to him. He would tell me how proud he was of me for working super hard to be able to transfer from my community college to get into my dream university. He was the only person (who I ever dated) who genuinely supported me to get an education. All of my other exes hated that I would stay focus on school so much, so I was happy I found a great guy who supported me all the way. He would be super proud if he knew I ended actually getting accepted in my dream school and start this fall.

I was reminiscing all these things and it brought back so much nostalgia.

I have such a smile on my face it brought back so many happy memories. Now that I am reminding on these happy memories I don't understand why we fought so much during the later part of our. I think I am starting to forget a lot of it.

I miss him. I realize He was not just my love but he was my best friend. The Universe knows what I want. I have to be patient.

Last edited by CarpeDiem (7/28/2015 4:10 am)

After cleaning my room and reminiscing.

I went to Disneyland the following day with my friend. I have so much fun with her. I go with her a lot now since... Well you know.

Anywho as soon as I got home I tried my meditation but I was so tired and fell asleep during my Kelly Howell audio. After my day at Disneyland and cleaning my room and being extremely tired from meditating, This morning I woke up not sad I am fine but I had this feeling. It's the feeling of missing him. I miss him my guy .

But I don't want this feeling. I don't want to feel that feeling of lack. It won't help me in the long run.

Last edited by CarpeDiem (7/29/2015 6:45 pm)

I get this. I miss my guy sometimes. A lot. But it's really sloppy thinking on my part! Missing him creates more opportunities for me to miss him! And that's a fail 😜 SOOOOOO.. I throw a little tantrum, and then I laugh at myself, remind myself that I'm the one in charge and it's all about my thoughts moment to moment. So do I choose thoughts about missing him? NOPE. I reach for thoughts of us together. I spend my day as though I'm preparing to see him tonight, as if he's just about to walk in the door. I spend my day in love with him, and that in itself raises my vibration and makes me feel happier.