Managed to stress myself out again, all good now but I went on his profile and saw something which got to me. This is obviously my fear manifested. Enough of that, though, just hinders me more and I wanted to get it off my chest quickly. 

I preach to others about letting go and detachment yet I can't get out of my own way. For many years I've been working on myself as a person. I had to do things correctly, in order and any blip that'd arise I'd berate myself and run myself down to the extent I would be physically ill. It's no secret either my mental health isn't brilliant but I find myself improving more than more each day. How do you all get out of your own way and feel the need to do it all yourself? I'm aware what I'm doing isn't helpful, I would have had him back by now if I'd stuck to how I dealt with the situation the first time. 
I don't have to know the answers, I doubt people who've made it big in life even had a concrete plan of action but the goal itself was enough for drive for them. If you knew me outside of this forum you'd know how much progress I've made but the old me still lingers and has to try and apply logic to everything.