The same thing happened to me a while back. I applied to what I thought was my dream job and it showed up at the most synchronous moment. I even thought there were signs pointing me to this job. I visualized everything working very well for me, I scripted every morning, and the manager seemed very positive about me...but I failed. I thought it was inconceivable that I couldn't get the job, the thought of not having it didn't register, the thought of having it felt so true and clear. I was shocked at the rejection.

It didn't make sense to me because I visualized a successful outcome and felt it real consistently for weeks, and yet nothing was really changing. I used this method to attract new friends, money, better health, good grades, and specific girls showing more interest in me....so why wouldn't it work now? The only logical LoA explanation was that either the thought/ feeling of having it didn't take over my subconscious mind and "explode" or I still had resistance in between sessions that wasn't meted out. From this I started exploring more of Abraham and Bashar instead of just Neville Goddard and Joseph Murphy....which were just different ways of explaining the same thing. But the same pattern persisted.

There was a time when I visualized myself having my dream job and felt it real for several hours. Almost immediately after I was done, I received a phone call from a recruiter I met a week before and she wanted to recommend me for a job that I would love to have but thought I didn't have enough experience for. Still, I gave it a shot and got an interview. I was happy because this job had so much good stuff and it felt like everything was coming together. And I failed again. I visualized a ton, repeated the thought of having it, felt it real...so what happened? Turns out I had the right experience and skills, but I did everything my recruiter told me to...which messed things up. My recruiters told me to behave a certain way but the HR manager wanted something different. If I was actually myself maybe it would have worked out...

There was another job I would have loved to have and got me very excited...but I saw that over 200 people applied and I thought it was pointless. I just decided to move on from it and be happy, seeing what happens next. I kept thinking to myself "They're not gonna call you. Just move on." You'd think with thoughts like this nothing would happen but they actually did interview me. This made no sense to me...they say you need to repeat the thought of having it and feel it real, not the thought of not having it lol. I stopped thinking that way and carried on with just being happy in general, but I failed. Strangely, I think the just be happy approach got me several opportunities I thought I lost, it's just the final outcome I want doesn't happen, like I'm stuck in a limbo made up of a symphony of synchronicities that go nowhere. But I know nothing can change until I change within and right now I'm building up a more powerful story for myself that can serve me long-term.

Sorry, I know this isn't inspirational lol. Thankfully, I still have my studies in the meantime. The adventure has taken me to some really dark places in myself and although not always fun, the self-knowledge has been a revelation. I still don't know exactly what went wrong because I believed strongly and followed the teachings to a T. They say rejection is God's protection, and instead of letting failure get to me I'd rather believe the best is coming up next. Meh, who cares, I've already won a lot anyway lol. There have been several times when I visualized and felt it real....and the immediate results sucked....but when I kept going and kept a positive mindset, I won and everything else just lined up. Ironically, all my failures have only made me more hopeful, resilient, and grateful. I've failed a lot in my short life, sometimes they can teach you things to improve on, and sometimes it seems there's nothing to learn from it, that things can go wrong no matter how good we are and all we can do is keep moving forward. If there's a big picture to all of this, we'll just have to live on and see it connecting the dots looking back. Over the years I've had a personal philosophy that it's not about winning or losing, it's about what's within you and how you act on it. Better to dare to do awesome things then just sit on the sidelines, so at least I'm proud of that lol. There's a Jay Z song I've been listening to a lot lately and the lyrics go: "Fear not when, fear not why,fear not much while we're alive, life is for living not living uptight." I think that will be my new affirmation