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8/23/2016 9:50 pm  #1


What I wish I knew before...

There's a saying that says that everyone needs to learn from their own mistakes and there are lots of quotes about how mistakes are how we learn and develop. I used to believe in making my own mistakes, I still do to some extent, but for the most part now, I believe in trying to just gather wisdom from others and from the life experience I've already got so I don't make foolish mistakes anymore. Here are just some mistakes that I thought I might share with this forum on the subject of relationships and break ups that I have now ultimately learned will not lead you to the relationship of your dreams and others who know from their personal experience will concur. Also, these are LOA based if you read between the lines and see the motives for the actions and the vibration that was being sent out when I made these mistakes. I have been seeing other people on here making the same mistakes I did from the same place I did and I can already foresee catastrophe coming to them so I do hope that anyone here who reads this might take something from it which might save their relationships in the future

1.Check your vibration before you have sex with your desired person. (Sex can be the greatest way to attract them back but can also be the fastest way to repulse them from a relationship)
If you are feeling insecure about your relationship and how things are going, it might feel like a good thing in the moment to be desired by the person you are desiring, but afterwards, things will almost always go back to how they were before sex and you will be left with an even greater wobble in your vibration. This goes for when you are in the early stages of reuniting with someone and also if you are in a relationship that seems to be ending or going wrong. Sex with someone you love should only be done when you are in a place of alignment and in no other time. Sex while you are in alignment is one of the greatest experiences you can feel and if you are feeling in alignment and in the early stages of getting back together and you genuinely feel ok about yourself and ok about the situation, feel free to have sex because sex from that place will definitely be a great way to attract them back in because it will be the ultimate expression of love. That means, you can't have sex in the 'hopes' of anything coming from it, you just have to really just want to have sex to express the love and happiness and attractiveness inside of you that you feel about yourself and the other person. I have had mixed results from having sex with my desired person while getting back together but have found that the results always matched the vibration I was sending plus what I wanted to get from it. When I held a positive view of myself as being sexy and desirable and I just wanted to flaunt that and express that, I got good results afterwards and he came back fully to me after it. When I felt uneasy about what was going on between us and pressured to get him back quickly and had had a consistently low vibration around myself for a while while trying to use sex as a way to attract him back, the afterwards was always messy and unpleasant.Β 

2. If the external conditions keep causing you to feel bad or annoyed, just avoid them for a while. (You need to have a positive atmosphere and mind to create your positive reality)
It can happen a lot that we get on a great 'disk' or whatever Abraham calls it, basically meaning that we feel consistently optimistic about things and life or feeling 'on top of the world' , just to find ourselves shot down by information we see or hear about our person. We might have been genuinely feeling like we could take on anything and we were ready to face reality with a new perspective and not let anything get us down; but then we saw them out with that stupid ***** or bastard and we decided to watch them eat ice cream in the park together from afar while seething with utter hatred...That's normal, it's the same reason why people look at car crashes, morbid curiosity. So the best thing to do is to just avoid it, especially if it just keeps happening. That means telling your friends not to tell you information, hiding anyone on facebook who might share photos of them, even leaving a conversation that you feel is bringing you into negativity. The higher on your 'disk' you go, the further you fall. That's the plummet feeling you get when you're caught off guard when you've been expecting something different to happen. Maybe you've been on a great 'disk' for a couple of months and you expect your person to start texting you again but then you find out from someone that your person is seeing someone new and you crash and burn. The reason why avoiding all of that is a good thing if you can't handle it is because you will be actively stopping negativity from coming into your space which will just increase room in your mind for positivity; aka happiness. Also there's nothing you can do about it so hearing about it will just be like taking a bullet for no reason. For the law of attraction to bring you good things, you need to fill your mind and subconscious up with a lot more positive information than negative information about your reality. I don't believe in living in a cave, I do believe knowing things about Syria is important; but that's because by sharing knowledge about a global event like that, we are causing awareness to the problem collectively which causes change. But there's no point in reading up all about individual murders or abuse cases or depressing information that we can't do anything about and in the same way, there's no point in having your specific person's news about moving in with their new partner or whatever taking up space in your mind either. You can't stop it; whatever is happening, is happening, but you can either ignore it or chose to accept it as a past event that will not effect your future. Most people really can't think like that so it's just better to fully ignore it and avoid it.

3. Be careful what you wish for. (Love isn't always a walk in the park)
This is an age old saying that really has so much of LOA tied into it, it shows that there has been a general understanding of LOA for a longer time than we know. I never really understood this statement so well until the past few years. Every desire we have will always be better in our heads than in our reality. When we really want something, we tend to build it up so great in our minds that we don't see any downsides about getting it. There are always downsides about everything. You might desire a dog, get a dog, and then after a little while realise how annoying walking a dog in the rain can be but you have to do it. You may desire a big house, get it, then realise how much cleaning is involved in a big house and how easy it might be to lose things in it, or how far apart everything is to get to. You may want to live in a hot country and then when you do, you realise how much you hate mosquitos. For desiring a person, it can be even harder to see the downsides because usually people only project their best sides into the world. Even if you have already dated and spent time with this person, there will be things about this person that you will find annoying but it's important to take off the rose tinted glasses and see if those things that you might have ignore before, might become issues for you in the future. And be real with yourself, make sure you actually know what you want! Don't visualize going to fancy resteraunts all the time with Daniel if all he ever wanted to do before was get take away. Don't imagine going to football matches with Jenny if she never enjoyed them before. One of my biggest flaws was when I started to imagine a relationship with the person I wanted which in no way matched his real personality. I saw us drinking wine together late at night while talking about philosophy...completely ignoring the fact that we had never done that before and he hates wine. Sometimes you have to take a cold hard look at what your relationship was and see if it really was the relationship of your dreams. Do a visualization where you are just having a normal day in the life you had while you were in a relationship with them, what did you actually do? If you've never been with them before, try to see if there are any little things about that person you have in mind that don't fit in with your fantasy and think about that for a moment. There is no 'perfect' partner, this specific person you want might even be less 'perfect' than another person you haven't met yet, but you can't make them into someone they're not. Remember that and you won't get so disappointed when they make a childish joke or come home drunk one night and throw up on your carpet, or don't want to go with you to a ballet or football match because they hate that stuff.Β 

4. If you're getting hurt from the same person over and over again, they're probably not the one for you.Β 
This is so bittersweet, how someone who can make us feel the best we've ever felt can also make us feel the worst. That is love, you do love them, but there's that phrase 'sometimes love is not enough' and that's so sad to actually digest but if we ever want to be happy, we do have to think about that. If you've been rejected by the same person more than a few times in small ways or if they're just not giving you enough time of their day or if the connection you're feeling from them just isn't satisfying, it's probably time to just let go. There are people in this world who are just too hard to love, they take love and throw it away or they take it for granted. They might not know how to love or what love really is, they might have said it to every person they've dated without ever really feeling it. Maybe they do love you but they're just too selfish to give you what you need. The best thing to do is to feel empathy for them in the way that they made it so hard for themselves to be loved by you and so are missing out on happiness themselves too. I know countless people who go around breaking hearts just because they can and also people who when they actually start to get feelings for someone, shut that person out or run away because it's all too much. I was so confused when I was left for someone I deemed 'lesser' than myself in terms of intelligence, attractiveness, spirit...until it dawned on me one day that the major difference between this person and me is that she's uncomplicated, she's plain, normal, she's easy to be with. I wasn't easy because I have a level of complexity and I'm proud of that, I will never just be 'average' and I will attract men who want interesting and passionate. If you are just never fitting in with what your specific person wants in a partner, you just need to let go or sacrifice your soul. If you are finding yourself constantly being misused or screwed over by the same person, it's time to exit. The law of attraction will give you what you vibrate, if you are in a position where you are vibrating sadness and frustration due to the circumstances around you, you will just attract more of that. If you are crying for the third time because he said he would take you out but he never did, then you are vibrating 'he didn't take me out, I'm so sad' and you will just get more of that. Unless you can be as cold as ice and literally detach from everything they do that would hurt you and still feel ok and fine, you will just get more of what you are getting because you're vibrating that and you just have to leave it. You're wasting time and emotional energy and at the end of the day, you're doing it to yourself. If a person is consistently showing that they don't care, then you need to stop communicating with them to give the vibration that you will only give people time and emotion if they show they do care. This will allow you to attract in people who do show up. If yous specific person shows up during this time, you need to treat them in the way that you would a new person and not take lack of respect.Β 

Those are just some thoughts I wanted to share today on this forum because of the posts recently I've read. The truth is, being inside the 'vortex' isn't always easy because it does mean sacrificing things that cause you pain and sometimes that can be the one thing we want.Β 


'What We Think, We Become' -Buddha
 

8/24/2016 1:58 am  #2


Re: What I wish I knew before...

i enjoyed this. thanks!!!!!!!!

 

8/24/2016 8:21 pm  #3


Re: What I wish I knew before...

OMG! Thank you for this, it helped so much.Β 


The universe wants it just as bad as you doΒ LOA work for me prefectly, so it can do just the same for you
 

8/27/2016 8:33 pm  #4


Re: What I wish I knew before...

Amazing post! I've been through all of this but the whole sex thing really stood out for me. I was still sleeping with an ex a few years ago for about two years after we broke up. I was doing it out of attachment and not wanting to let him go. Just as you said, things would get messy afterward. I wish I knew then what I do now that's for sure! At least we're wiser now though huh?

 

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