Neolove2 wrote:

But today I bursted out with all these emotions like if they were bottled up inside since I discovered LOA.

That's an interesting sentence, because it reveals that you have suppressed your emotions. But you can't really suppress emotions. They are still part of your vibration. LoA isn't about faking emotions. You can't do that forever. LoA is about feeling a little better and the next day feeling a little better until you feel truly good about a topic.

You are still very much in reaction mode. You blame him for his action, you worry about the girl. I don't read anything about your creative power. I would strongly suggest to practice LoA not only in this area, but in areas where it is easier to apply for you. It will strengthen your faith to see, when you see thinks happen you have thought about an hour or so ago.

Neolove2 wrote:

. I'm just so bummed out because I feel like i took 20 steps forward and 100 steps back. I'm kind of unmotivated to start all over.

I can tell you that this isn't the case and I can tell you also why you feel this way. The reason is that you measure your progress by looking at the physical manifestation. Don't do that. Instead, look at your internal progress. How do you feel compared to a few months ago? What have you learned? How has your view on things changed?

Let me tell you something. I started my journey nearly 10 months ago. In the beginning, I was exactly like you. I measured my progress by looking at my reality. I had a nice interaction with my ex, I felt good. He did something I didn't like, I felt bad. I was a reactor and it didn't serve me at all! It took me a whole while, but now I have come to the conclusion that the most important thing is how I feel and that is my main instrument to measure my progress. I had two very bad phases within the last month or so. A few days ago, I was nearly at the point to give up on LoA and be unhappy for the rest of my life, because it seemed to be so much easier. But now I see this situations were good for me. First, I really appreciate feeling good more and more. Second, it gets easier for me to go back to good feelings and I know that I can do it. When I was flying high for the first time after my breakup, I was so afraid of crashing down and not being able to scramble up again. You can imagine that this thought throws you off your high flying disk immediately. But now I don't have this fear anymore, because I know that I can and will get back there eventually. So, make the way you feel the most important thing and you will never have the feeling again that you are back at square one.