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Not totally LOA but just a post to help those feel better and in alignment when they find they're person is with someone else or dating.
The goal of LOA is to get into alignment then attract from there and you might be sitting now thinking 'how am I supposed to be OK now I know he or she has someone??' Truth is, you can't not know what you know. You can't trick yourself into believing its not happening when you know it is (thank you social media especially). So Ive learnt some unorthodox ways to feel better when it happens. The first thing is to focus on you and your qualities. No two people are the same and you are unique and rare. Take your best qualities and work on making them stand out every day. Next thing is to look at your faults and then start working on improving them but never beat yourself up.
Don't try and make your ex angry or jealous by posting pictures with members of the opposite sex on social media for them to see. Do the opposite actually, post pictures with your friends or pets but always look happy and carefree.
Fake it until you make it. Make an effort to smile and laugh everyday and to be relaxed.
Change the emotion. We all are curious, its human nature. You most likely have cyber stalked and have seen pictures that have burned into your memory and made you upset. Just try to remember that a picture can tell a thousand lies and even couples who seem so happy can end. Think of Brad and Jennifer. Also that the person in the picture is not the person who you know, because we are different in our relationships. All those inside jokes you shared with them or even the way they touched you are just yours, and always will be. Don't get angry, if anything, feel pity that they are not with you.
Don't compare unless it makes you feel better. I have to admit, one thing that does make me feel better is that I know that I'm more physically attractive but that's just me, its not for everyone.
Then forget just ignore don't obsess and stay away from their social media. There's nothing worth seeing anymore. You did it because you were curious but now you don't need to see it anymore. You don't need to show your friends or family. You don't need to think about it late at night until you cry. There's no point !
In public :
Keep in mind that people can act different around the ex's of their partners and they tend to be more clingy and affectionate but its fear. Don't get put off or sad. Have a plan for what you would do if you had to see them in public and Stick To It. Don't let your emotions get the best of you. Don't start acting crazy. Don't try and make them jealous. Just be natural and at ease.
Ignoring reality?
Ignoring reality doesn't mean to be delusional and shut your eyes, it means to not let reality effect you emotionally. It means to just let it come and go without over thinking it. You stub your toe and it hurts but you know that very soon it will pass, that's how it is. You don't need to go to hospital and you don't need to think that your toe will now hurt you forever, it will be over soon. That's the mantra 'This too will pass'.
What if its not passing ??
For some situations, the thing we don't want seems to stay longer than we expected and we start to really panic. There's no point in that either. The universe really does understand vibrations and knows what to do with them. Situations where what we want doesn't seem to be coming are not ours to really worry about. What's the point in worrying? Nothing. It doesn't help us. So worrying is futile no matter what, it just is. Making ourselves strong and confident and growing and creating our own separate life plan is important and doing what we love. That's a good life.
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Getting through the days and nights with that feeling of loneliness and sickness of them being with someone else :
When you wake up and you start to remember reality, make an effort to do something else. Go online and look at celebrity news or sports news or something easy and none emotional. Have a favourite TV show lined up and watch it when you feel the feelings. Stop the feeling with 'this too shall pass' and say it over and over again out loud or in your head. Don't meditate unless you are good at totally clearing your mind or you might find yourself obsessing. Do mindfulness practice. Hug an animal or a family member. If you're too late and caught in the sad thought for too long, take a brief nap. Go for a run to release anger or adrenaline and run until you're tired. Listen to relaxing music but upbeat music. Play a video game.
What if I get the urge to text or contact them? Is it inspired? Is there anything I can do or say that might change the situation?
Honestly-no. If you are currently in contact with them, you could just send a message saying that you wish them well but you think for now it's better not to talk. If they contact you, see what the tone of the message is. Are they asking a serious question about a jumper they left at your house? Are they friendly? Are they flirtatious? I once had to tell my person not to send me flirty texts because he had someone else and I said to him that I'm 'out of bounds' but allowed him to text me on a friendly level. This actually made him respect me a lot and we ended up getting back together very soon after. Remember that you need to keep your respect for yourself. Decide in your head what kind of contact you will allow with him. Sometimes, very often, the best approach is no contact but if you have decided to be friends then having contact is ok and you can actually use it to your benefit but by remaining as cool as a cucumber while he dances with this new person. If you find yourself freaking out and contacting him in that vibe, go no contact. Attend to your vibe and be nice to yourself which is respecting yourself
What if he says he still has feelings for me but is still with this other person??
I never understood why people do this but it happens and happened to me. I was told that my person had feelings for me but was with a new person. It confused the hell out of me and made me freak out so much! Unfortunately, some people like to have power over people or like to have comfort blankets. If your person has said that they still have feelings for you, then offer them the opportunity to talk to you over the phone or whatever and see if there could be some kind of resolution made. You'll have to figure it out, but don't let them keep you as an emotional hostage which really messes up your vibe for sure !
What if they don't contact me at all and they're with someone new and it just feels like they've forgotten me?
You can really never forget the people you had strong feelings for. And you can rarely just get over those feelings completely. Even if it looks like they wouldn't remember your name if they heard it, they will remember their feelings for you if they ever see you again, even if they don't show it. When you get affected strongly by someone, you don't just forget them. I've seen couples get back together after years apart and also having other partners in between. Live with the confidence that if your person saw you in person again, they would feel all the emotions you want them to, whether or not they act on them. Do you know what this mentality does? It affects your vibe for when you see them out. And it causes the emotional response in them ! Keep that vibe and you will see such amazing little results.!Β
What if they're engaged?
This one has come up on the forum a few times but even though it hasn't happened to me, I would still say that an engagement isn't a marriage and there are no legal ties going on yet that would be tricky to get out of so it shouldn't be looked on as too big a problem or deal yet. I would say that a marriage, however, is a lot harder to get out of but it's still possible
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I think marriage is harder because of these reasons:
Most people in the world (except for very few desperate or stupid people) get married when they decide they have found someone they want to take the journey of the rest of their life with. They choose a person who they feel is the person they want to parent their children or if they don't want children, who they see themselves growing old with. Nobody starts a marriage thinking it will probably end in divorce, otherwise they wouldn't get married. People go into relationships just because they feel good with a person, or they feel that the person is someone they don't want to see kissing or sleeping with someone else but them but they don't always think that they would want this person to be the parent of their child or be there when they're older. When I start relationships, I just think 'I like this person enough to talk to them everyday or to go most places with them and I would feel sad if I saw them with someone else right now' but I don't always think 'he is someone I see myself with in a nursing home when I'm 80' or even 'he is someone I want to live with everyday until I die and share all my memories and property with and start a family with'. I'm also just not in the place where those things occur to me anyway.Β
So marriage is a serious decision that is taken by people because they are COMMITTED to making that relationship work in the most serious of ways. Yes, marriages break down and yes, affairs happen, but it only happens very rarely that someone else can actually come between a marriage. A marriage breakdown usually occurs because of conflicting interests of the two parties involved and not because of an outsider. A marriage is also a sacred and legal bond that makes it so that it is harder to break. Leaving a marriage is a lot more difficult than leaving a relationship.Β
The tie of a marriage is also so much so that even if you can win the affection of someone in a marriage, there is a greater risk that they will not leave the other person for you but have you as an affair or if they do leave the other person, they are likely to go back to their spouse after a short time. Abraham never garantees that you will get the exact thing you want actually, she always says you will get the exact feeling you want. So getting money is easy, there's lot of money going around in the world, getting a BMW is easy, there are lots of BMWs in the world. Getting the exact person you want is easy if they are in your vibration vicinity, but I feel that marriage is almost a symbol that they are not in your vibrational vicinity, but that's up for you to decide !
All I think is that if your person is married, don't bother waiting and waiting for them to come around because you're just taking too great a risk of you losing out on love.Β