I've been manifest good thing about my love . He dumped me in May but we were talking and meeting sometimes too . Things were getting better .. But I did so bad thing to him . I was needy and I just exploaded everything I was holding on my mind for long time and I said everything . He said he wil support me ( cause I have health issue ) and he even suggested me to spend  time with me on the  weekend but I was crying and mostly we had rough time again for 3days because of me . Next day he said ok I will see you on Saturday and just see what happen and have a good time . And I left his house.But on Tuesday he sent me msg said " I have to work on Saturday and I don't have time to meet you . Pls get professional help" so I was gonna say ok then next time but that time he already blocked me . So I got panic and try to reach him because I just want to know the reason why he did that. I emailed him but no answer . So I did very bad thing . I went his house and waited till he came back . And soon as he saw me he gets angry and even tho he tried to call police. I was begging him to just talk and then we talked . He told me why he did that because the days before we spent time with was awful and he had so much pressure and even tho he thought that I might try to kill him or something and get scared of me so that's why he blocked me . I didn't do anything to try to do that but I guess my action was makes him feel that way so I apologized to him .i said it's just ok like meet me just once a week or something just like friends . And he suggested to meet me on Friday to hang out with me but he said I do this for you but not that I like to do.
And we met on Friday . We Went to the park and I made some food for picnic but he wasnt in the mood and argue started again .he even said that " I feel very scared of you and angry feeling and also I feel not comfortable around you so how can I eat with you " and that makes me sad and but I said sorry and he said " pls let me go why can't you ? You are ******* crazy and you just tourturing me . I don't wanna see you ever again and Don't  wanna be around you " I stated to cry . It's true and he said he couldn't eat much food because me he is been sick  because of me . And after that we just tried to have fun the rest of the day and left . He said when you in hospital contact me and maybe we will see each other again . And I sent long msg to him that I always wanted to say thing . I aplogize that everything I done and just hurting you for long time because of me doing this . But ive never wanted . I just hope that you still let me stay in your life as friend.sorry my selfishness . But I won't force you to meet me anymore . I let you go because that's only I can do for you .  I don't know what is gonna happen because of my surgery is quite difficult but before it's too late I just wanted to say that I always love you no matter how much you hate me. And thank you for everything .
He reply to that just try to be optimistic. And we end the conversation . But that night , he sent me msg
" I'm gonna wear the flip flops that you gave me for my biryhday present and go to get my dinner now. And I will try to wear alots too. I appreciate you trying to be kind to me . Thank you for the gift. Also I'm sorry I'm so mean to you .I just want to be nice to myself for a change .I feel like some of it I am scared and angry at you about " he never ever say sorry to in any situation but I was just glad that he sent me msg like this.
I just said "don't be sorry pls. It's not your fault it's me. Sorry for everything "
So we ended peacefully I guess . And we ended up meet at the park we actually met for the first time . I don't know what is gonna happen . But now I feel so much better and even tho I just love him unconditionally . I don't care if he has gf or whatever . I just want him to be happy . I just wonder why I was been like this .. Because all my break ups were  hard before but I always move on so quick . But to him I just couldn't that is why I thought maybe I shouldn't give up on him cuz there's some  meaning ??. I let him go but I still have a hope within me. But not expecting anything from him . I just happy now that I feel this way. If we meant to be together then we will reunite. I just want to focus on myself now.
Thank you for if someone reading this my post . And sorry for my bad English. I let universe to work on for everything now.