Capitano wrote:

I am crushed and have been trying LOA for past week or so but think my mental state and emotions are probably causing it to backfire.

Very good that you recognize this on your own. I know that it's hard to do, but I think the best thing you could do in order to get her back is to take some time for you to heal and don't focus on her at all. When you are desperate, your vibration is very low and you can't think and feel what you need to feel in order to get her back. So relax, there is nothing you can do before you aren't back on your feet and happy with your life. Maybe it would be good to go into NC for a longer period of time, so that you can get her out of your head for a while.
Your situation sounds very hopeful, really. She isn't even sure, if she made the right decision, that's something you can focus on and that doesn't feel so bad, right? So when you think about her, think of good stuff like that and let it go. Get happy, do things you enjoy and I bet when she meets your new you in a month or two, the spark will be there again.

Capitano wrote:

It's hard as she told me yesterday "that she feels this is what's best for her life right now" and "she doesn't want to live her life half heartedly" and that I will meet someone who makes me happier etc.

Feels like a rewind of when we broke up 4 weeks ago. I really need to get my emotions and head back together.

Do you have any good advice and will LOA work to reconcile?

Words are only words, a picture of ONE moment, and people lie all the time about feelings. So don´t pay attention to those words, because they are not important. 
First, you have to ignore what´s happening now or acknowledge that this "reality" is just the result of your previous thoughts and with your thoughts and emotions, you CAN create the reality you want, beginning NOW. If you keep focusing on what´s happening, you will create more of that. 
 

Capitano wrote:

What would be the first step to positive thinking and getting her back via LOA?

The first step is for YOU to start feeling better about YOURSELF. Don't focus on her right now, this is a time for you to get back to yourself. Join a gym, go for a walk -- do something to clear your mind. Pick up activities, hobbies, etc that you maybe you haven't done in a while, or wanted to and never got around to it. Surround yourself with those that you love and love you in return.

If you focus on getting her back right now, its not going to work. Its obvious that you're not in a good place to start. You'll just create resistance.

Capitano wrote:

Would writing affirmations and visualising everyday be enough or do I first need to let all the emotion out?

You do not NEED to do those, as those are tools to make you feel better. But, if something makes you feel good, do it. If it starts to feel like a chore, stop it. Remember, these will NOT get her back, but are tools for you to get into a higher vibration  (i.e. feeling).

Capitano wrote:

My heads a mess today.

What would be the first step to positive thinking and getting her back via LOA?

I've watched a ton of YouTube videos and they all say conflicting things.

Would writing affirmations and visualising everyday be enough or do I first need to let all the emotion out?

How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back for Good
Before you read further, you need to know for sure that you are meant to be with the one you love.
When you have the intention and the desire to be with THAT person you love, that person will also have thesame desire to have you back. Desire is never a one-way thing. It is ALWAYS a two-way thing. There is a quote that what you are looking for is looking for you and this is true.
The reason he is not yet back is that there’s too much resistance and tension between you because of your break-up, your arguments, hurtful exchange of words, your negative feelings for him, and his negative feelings for you (caused by your negative feelings for him).
Your main goal is to erase all barriers, resistance, and tensions between you so you can start the process of getting back with each other.
So, now, take a slow and deep breath and say these words to yourself: “There is nothing to worry about. I will be with him soon. I just need to erase all barriers to loving him. I will also quit calling him my ex-boyfriend because words have power. I call him MY LOVE.”
In this article, I will show you how to start the process of getting back with your ex; but, as you know, you will only see the results when you do all the work yourself. Knowledge without practice is nothing.
The basic principle of “Thoughts become things.”
What you need to understand is the basic principle of “thoughts become things.” You probably have heard of this before, but try to pause and ponder on what this quote truly means.
This means that whatever you think at any given time, whether you are conscious or unconscious about it, you create. If you are thinking about that your situation is so hopeless and you keep panicking about your situation, then it will really become hopeless. If entertain the idea that your love is seeing someone, you’ll create a situation where they are seeing another person.
If you always wonder and worry that they have already moved on, you are right: they already moved on. If you don’t believe that you’ll get back together, well, guess what? The Universal Mind says, your wish is my command.
Have you ever experienced a moment where you thought of a friend and that friend suddenly liked your message on Facebook, or sent your an SMS, or called or sent you a message on Facebook? And then you tell them “I was just thinking of you!” You think it’s a great coincidence when the truth is, nothing is coincidence. Everything comes from your thoughts.
Your thought actually caused your friend to contact you. You thought about them contacting you first, that’s why they contacted you. That’s the best example that thought becomes things.
Why did he leave in the first place?
If you disciplined your mind and only focused on the love between the two of you, everything would have been perfect. What I’m trying to say is that because you were not careful of your thoughts and entertained doubts and fears about your relationship, you are where you are now.
But there is hope. Since your mind created the break-up, your mind can also fix everything.
But let’s go back to how things were when you started your relationship with each other:
In the beginning, everything seemed perfect and wonderful. You felt desirable, sexy, beautiful, confident, happy, loved. You adore your him completely — you thought he was the most amazing person in the whole world. In return, he also loved and adored you completely; he always looked forward to talking to you, hearing your voice, and sending you sweet messages.
You couldn’t say anything negative about him; you couldn’t find any fault in him. In return, he thought you were perfect, wonderful, and irresistibly beautiful!
Because you loved him completely, he couldn’t stop raving about you and couldn’t stop telling people that he never  loved anyone like the way he loved you.
When you thought that you had the perfect and the most profound connection, he agreed 100%. You had a magical connection that you couldn’t find anywhere else.
You were convinced that you were meant to be and destined for each other. And it was true: you were meant to be and each other’s destiny. He was the one, and you were the one for him.
You spoke about him positively and lovingly. There was nothing negative to feel, no frustrations, no stress, no insecurity, no fear, no doubt, no worry.
You felt totally deserving of your love and his love. Things were absolutely perfect and amazing!
And then one day you thought, “Why is this too good to be true?”
“What if he leaves me?”
“I don’t feel like I deserve this person!”
“I wonder if he really loves me.”
“I am not ready yet!”
“What if he meets someone else?”
You started to have your crazy and negative inner dialogues with yourself, especially when you were not with him. You thought of things that you feared the most. Then, you doubted your love and your relationship.
You had a hard time believing that everything was perfect, because your past experiences showed otherwise. You began to ‘investigate’ about his past or stalk his exes on social media. You began to check his whereabouts, his emails, his SMS messages, and his social media accounts.
You initiated arguments and petty fights…
You thought he was being inconsiderate. You thought he was being unfair. And so on…
There are two types of thoughts in this world: thoughts that build and thoughts that destroy.
Thoughts that build include faith, love, hope, peace, and other positive thoughts in between.
Thoughts that destroy are doubt, fear, anger, misery, jealousy, worry, and other negative thoughts in between.
When you were in a relationship with someone you love, did you have total trust and confidence in both of you, or were you insecure, fearful, easily annoyed, doubtful, or jealous?
Now you know the reason he left you. Thoughts create things. They always do. In fact, as you think right now, you create!
As you read this article, you are creating your future reality. Even in your sleep, you create your reality because your subconscious mind never sleeps. Your subconscious is what’s responsible for actualizing in your physical reality all your stored beliefs that you acquired in your lifetime.
Always remember that your inner thoughts create your outer reality. It doesn’t matter whether your thoughts are fleeting or not. It doesn’t matter whether you’re aware of your thoughts or not.
You can’t blame your love for this whole thing. You cannot blame your circumstances for this. You cannot blame time or distance for this. In fact, if time and distance are an issue in your relationship, that’s because you THOUGHT and BELIEVED that they are an issue.
Why can’t you blame him and both your circumstances? Because you had a choice.
You had a choice to dismiss all the obstacles and challenges in your relationship. You had a choice to think positively the entire time you were together. You had a choice to never doubt him and his love for you. You had a choice to think you’re deserving. You had a choice to control your thoughts. You had a choice to focus only on the mental image of the two of you in perfect relationship.
You had a choice to think your relationship WAS EASY. When you think it’s easy, it will be easy. When you think it’s complicated, it becomes complicated. When you stress over it, it becomes stressful.
Can you reverse the situation?
I understand if you feel uneasy and regretful for creating this circumstance, but the good news is that you can definitely reverse the situation. And the first step is to totally eliminate all the negative thoughts in your mind.
I know you always hear this advice from people around you, but did you actually consider that this adviceneeds to be taken literally?
When someone says “think positive”, that means there’s absolutely nothing negative to think. And when there’s nothing negative to feel, you will not have any negative emotions. How can you have negative emotions when you only think happy and positive thoughts?
So, yes, YOU CAN reverse the situation as long as you are willing to do the necessary work. The first step is to change your thoughts!
What are you thinking now? Are you thinking of things that help you get closer to getting your love back? Are you thinking of things that drive him further away?
Remember that at each moment, your thought creates. So watch your thoughts carefully.
Watch your words at all times
Why would you say, “He doesn’t love me anymore,” or “He hates me,” or “He’s gone forever,” or “He doesn’t want to have anything to do with me,” or “This is a hopeless and impossible situation,” when you can CHOOSE to say, “Getting him back is easy and fast!”
“He loves me so much that he misses me right at this moment,”
“He’s a great guy and I love him,”
“He’s crazy about me! He wants me so badly!”
Thinking negatively about your situation takes the same time and effort as thinking positively about your situation, so why waste your time and effort on negative thoughts?
Remember that you have the power to create your life right at this moment. You also have the power to create your ideal relationship right at this moment!
There’s nothing to do in your current reality
When you are negative, doubtful, paranoid, angry, hurting, in pain, and still crying over the breakup, know that there’s nothing that you can do to get your him back right NOW!
So knowing this, you don’t have to do anything in your current reality.
There’s no need to email, no need to beg, no need to text, no need to contact him on social media, no need to stress over the situation.
How will you solve this whole thing if you stress over the situation? You achieve nothing. You will only create resistance in him. You will only make him run away further.
I’ve never been successful in getting anything that I want by chasing it. Every good thing in my life happened so effortlessly and in a very easy way. And everything happened perfectly, because I didn’t stress over them. I EXPECTED them to happen!
Do not exert physical effort to change your current reality. ALWAYS USE YOUR MIND to change your reality. In other words, ALWAYS CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS when you change your reality.
Choose to think of this whole journey as easy; and because this is easy, there’s no need to chase. You have to let him come to you by thinking he wants and loves you!
Faith is the most powerful thing
You need to have faith that what you think and imagine will come true. Even if you have no faith, your lack of faith will come true anyway because ALL THOUGHTS BECOME REAL!
So if you believe that he will not come back to you, then you will get exactly that. If you think that he’s still mad at you or think of you as annoying, you create that version of him who doesn’t like you.
If you think it’s very hard to be with him because of the distance, time, circumstances, work, finances, and 100 other reasons, then you will create the reality where it’s extremely difficult to be with him because of 100+ reasons. Why would you do that to yourself, and why would you do that to both of you?
You need to ponder on the definition of faith and ask yourself what this really means. I’m sure you’ve been told before to have faith and to not stop believing. What do these words mean to you?
You need to take this advice literally. To have faith is to let go of everything that is the opposite of faith like worry, fear, doubt, and other negative things!
If you want him back, believe 100% that you can have him back!
What is it that you want exactly?
You have to be clear with what you want. Some people simply want their love back without really knowing the kind of relationship that they want with him.
Do you want him to unblock you on social media?
Do you want to be engaged with him? Do you want to live with him under one roof? Do you want to be married to him?
What kind of relationship do you imagine with him? This is important to know what you want exactly — the more detailed it is that you want, the universe will give you something that matches exactly what it is that you want.
The mind is powerful so be creative in what you want to happen! Don’t be limited by yourself and your ownimagination! You can create anything that you want!
Do you really want him back?
Do you really want your love back because you love him or is it because you hurt your ego during the breakup?
There are those who thought they wanted their ex back in the beginning. They would do all the work for days, weeks, months, and even years.
Then, when they hear from their love, they realize that they really don’t want him back anymore. In the end, they decided he is not worth it and they chose to move on.
So make sure you want him back for all the right reasons, and not because you’re hurt and you bruised your ego. Because if this is all ego, you will realize in the end that you don’t really want him back to you.
Everything starts from within
Always remember that to change the outside, you need to change the inside.
So if you want your outer world to change, change your thoughts first because your thoughts are responsible for what happens to you. And I mean EVERYTHING that happens to you!
So start to examine your beliefs about the people, things, and events around you. Examine what you believe about you. Can you really blame if people act the way they act around you? You can change the way they think of you through your thoughts.
You are the cause of everything in your life
I used to take offense when someone says, “It’s your fault,” because I didn’t really know better.
But now I am the first one to say that whatever happens in my life is my fault. There’s no one else to blame. Whatever I think I create, therefore I created everything around me.
You cannot blame your love for leaving you. This was your own doing. This is your fault.
I know it’s really hard to read this and take responsibility for something you think is not even your own doing. You probably think that he “chose” to leave.
The truth is that he didn’t choose to leave. He left because of your thoughts. If you review everything carefully, you’ll find out that you had doubts, fear, etc., either about him or your relationship.
How can love stay when there’s doubt, fear, or worry? Love only attracts things that vibrate love. Doubt, fear, and worry are not in the same vibrational frequency as love. So, to expect love to stay in a place of doubt is unreasonable and just wrong from a metaphysical perspective.
No need to think of the past and memories with your love
Many are stuck thinking about the past and recalling memories with their loved one. They ask themselves if there’s anything that they could have done better.
They also think of memories, past arguments, and replay the break-up in their mind.
If you replay these memories, past arguments, and breakup in your mind, what do you create?
Yes, absolutely!
Instead of thinking of the past and what happened, you need to re-write the past. You need to re-create the negative experiences and turn them into positive ones. You need to re-write your arguments into conversations about your future. You need to re-write your break-up and turn it into him saying he wants to marry you, and so on…
Why would you spend time analyzing visions that are so negative instead of spending your precious time creating visions that are happy, wonderful, and positive?
So, totally revise your past thoughts and give new life to positive thoughts! Revising your past will affect your present life in a positive way!
This process takes time
This process takes time. You can’t think positive and expect results to happen right away.
If you want to speed things up, you need to do the work of visualizing what you want. The more positive and intense your thoughts, the more quickly the results will come.
And the more you ignore your current reality and live in your mind, the more quickly the results will come.
If you let your reality affect your thoughts and feelings, then you will slow the process down.
You don’t need to let him go
There’s no need to let him go. There’s no need to give up. You just need to stop your obsession, and stop doubting that you will get him back.
You need to let go of the need to control him and the situation. There’s nothing to control except your mind.
If you can’t stop thinking about him, do some guided meditation or go out with your friends or keep yourself busy. In fact, why don’t you start new hobbies?
The more you think of him, the more opportunity for negative thoughts to come up. It’s better to think of him for 1 to 5 minutes only as long as the thoughts are purely positive.
Your thoughts are the only truth
Always keep in mind that your thoughts are the only truth and the only reality. You shouldn’t let your current reality affect you.
You can do this by having 100% control of your thoughts.
Whatever negative news and things you see related to your love, ignore them. They are the results of your past thoughts.
Instead, spend time creating new thoughts.
Focus on yourself and on feeling good!
When you are too focused on getting your ex back, you don’t really trust that you will be reunited again. If you want to happen it right away by stressing over the results or trying to look for signs everywhere or analyzing everything that he does on social media, you are operating from the place of fear.
You are fearful that you won’t get him back that’s why you keep checking on him, asking about him, or even stalking him on social media. Your mind becomes preoccupied by what he does, who he is with, what he’s doing, and so on. Your are so focused on him that you forget the most important thing in this whole situation: YOURSELF.
If you think you will never be happy on your own and will only be happy with him, you’re setting yourself up for a big failure. Because what this means exactly is you are afraid that he might leave you for good, or that he has completely moved on with his life without you.
But if you are happy and content with your everyday life, and you choose to be happy on your own, you will vibrate happiness, joy, and contentment. As a result, he will be drawn to you again and will find you attractive and beautiful.
As you love yourself, you will vibrate love and he will start to love you again. As you love yourself more and more, he will love you more and more.
So you need to focus on you — on becoming whole again, and on becoming beautiful again. Nobody can do this for you but you! If you want to feel great, no one can feel great for you except you! It’s like wanting to have a massage so you can relax and instead of you going to the massage place, you send someone else.
You have to do the work of feeling good!
What does it mean by feeling good? First, you need to practice gratitude. Say thank you for everything in your life: your career, your house, your car, your family and friends, everything that you own, your good health, your hair, your food, the water that you drink, your pets… everything!
Second is to give love! Love yourself first. You can do this by telling yourself in the mirror that you love yourself. Then love everything around you. Adore everything, and if there’s nothing to adore, find something to adore! If you think your pink mug is just a mug, adore it for being useful and for being pink in color!
Feel confident and beautiful! You can do this by looking beautiful. Go to the hair salon, have your nails done, get a massage, get a makeover, buy a new dress, buy those shoes, curl your eyelashes, have a foot spa! Just do whatever you need to do to feel confident and beautiful!
Make sure you’re not doing these things for another person especially your love. Do these things for you, because you love you and you care for you!
Give yourself compliments! Congratulate yourself for a job well done! Treat yourself to a nice movie! Go out on a date with yourself! Tell yourself you’re absolutely wonderful and amazing! Thank yourself for being the best version of you!
Then imagine everyone liking and loving you! Imagine them wanting to be near you and talk to you and be friends with you! Imagine being surrounded by a crowd… imagine how they completely adore you! You are a star and you’re fabulous! They can’t help by admire you and be drawn to you! Thank them for giving you that attention!
What you need to remember
You create what happens to you. There are no random attitudes towards you. The way people treat you is your own creation.
There are also no random events, chances, or accidents! The way people think of you, what they say to you, what they feel about you and around you are the results of your own thoughts. You reflect what you think and believe in. You get what you expect from others.
You are the master of your thoughts and your destiny. Don’t make mistakes or give any excuses. You have to take 100% responsibility for your life, which means you have to take 100% full responsibility of your thoughts.
Nothing exists in this world without thinking about it first. Nothing exists on its own.
You can get your love back and you will. In fact, if you start now, your love will start coming back to you. There’s no other way but for them to come to you.
You are a powerful creator. You simply need to acknowledge and claim that power. Be the master of your thoughts and you will be the master of your destiny.
 

shawnr22 wrote:

Jim Chien Beige amazing reply. thank you 

It´s not mine. I don´t know where I found it, but I saved it.