wolf wrote:

So how can you feel better about this situation? What are the better-feeling thoughts?

Its old news, thats for sure, but you can feel better right now.

It is so damn unfair how he is moving on despite all my efforts to have this be different?
How can he not see that a way better match than anybody on that site is right here for him?
Thats putting the blame on him instead of yourself.
Does it give you any relief?

Or are you in hopelessness instead:
My situation feels hopeless and I feel like Im unable to turn this around?
If that is how you are feeling, sometimes just admitting where you emotionally are can make you feel some relief.

If thats where you are,
how about
a) I dont have to think about it right now,
b) there are plenty of other things working out for me,
c) there are people whove turned this same situation around,
d) maybe I can turn this around eventually,
e) I hope I can turn this around some day?
That would be going to hopefulness.

How can you feel some relief right now? What is the thought?

There are people who report that even just thinking "fu#k what hes doing, f%ck this situation, I deserve better" can make them feel relief.
Or get off the subject -
universe, this is too much for me at this time, Im out for now, you handle this!,
and go on to do something that pleases you, perhaps take a nap.

Wow thank you so much for your response Wolf, it really does make me feel better. I went from anger to hopelessness to hopefulness all in one post lol. I felt better by being angry for a while tbh, it made me feel good to think of how worthy I am and how its his loss etc. So that's the better feeling thought that got me through most of the day but now its nightime and I guess its feelings of hopelessness.. but I like what you did there and I did start to feel hopeful after reading what you wrote. Nothing is impossible and there is absolutely a possibility this situation can turn around.

My previous ex cheated on me and got engaged to someone else and then ended up breaking up with her and coming back to me... This dating website situation is nothing compared to that. I need to have more faith in myself and know that I am who he wants and whatever girl he talks to will just make him realise how much he wants and needs me. That's a better feeling thought right there. Thank you Wolf! 

wolf wrote:

PowerOfLove wrote:

I think I struggle a bit because we didn't break up because something bad happened, we broke up because he has these deep fears about some stuff and it got to his head.. he doesn't believe that we could have a future because of some external factors so sometimes it gets to me whether that could truly change since those thoughts are deeply engrained in him. I manage to feel as if they can be overwritten by my thoughts and persistence but i guess in my low vibe moments i question it..

Questioning getting what you want does only appear in a lower vibration. When you get higher, you dont experience this, I can assure you as I am standing right now in a higher vibration and it feels logical to me to have my desire come to me.

Youre giving him a script right now, assigning that he cannot ever change his mind and that theres something so deep within him which cannot be changed, you feel bad thinking that so you know its just crap not serving you.
You can get over your fears, so what makes you think hes somehow different? We are all just as vibrational. Things change all the time, if you look, you can literally see it, for example right now there are different cars parked in front of my block than there were yesterday.
People change their minds all the time.
You dont help him by focusing with him on the problem. Focus on the solution, thats the only thing going to influence him to move towards feeling better because thats what everybody ultimately wants, to feel better, to feel good. His fears arent letting him feel better so you know he definitely wants to feel better.

Focus on the solution, everything working out for the two of you, its law, it has to be so.
The stream of wellbeing is "unfortunately" too strong for any of us to completely get off of the path.

Thank you Wolf. When I'm in alignment I don't have these thoughts but its good that I'm working through them now. I think subconsciously I do struggle with his fears because when we broke up he made it such a huge point about how he will never overcome his fears, he's tried and nothing can change them etc.. So afterwards I learnt so much about LOA and managed to overcome that limiting belief but I guess on a subconscious level his words were drilled into me so whenever I am vibing low they come to the surface and I question whether I can change his lifelong fears. But you're right, things do change all the time and even I know people change their minds all the time.. thank you for the encouragement! I think thats the thing that I struggle with the most, and I never really speak of it (so I don't focus on it) but perhaps i needed to address it like I am now so I can build my faith that I can change it. 

I haven't focused on the end for a while, in all honesty because it didn't feel good.. I haven't done any vibrational work towards the relationship for a while and I think thats why today seeing the dating website completely threw me off. I need to start rewriting the script.. I aim to do that tomorrow as right now i just need to find some relief! Thank you for your help, you have realllly made me feel better - i appreciate it! 

SydneysMommy wrote:

Hey there. I'm sorry you had a down day. Luckily you're somewhere where we have all had one, but here is the good news..."What if" is not a real place.....YET! So him being on a site for dating stings. I get that totally. But rest assure if the break up was recently, he is totally not ready for true commitments. This could very well to be a quick fix to get over you.


So " what if" he DOES cross your profile (PS you better be posting new and absolutely fun and adorable pictures of yourself) who knows what stirs up for him?

What if he is seeing someone new? What if he is sleeping with someone new? It's ok, let him. Reason why is because his mind after you is scrambled, do another new female would be more clutter he is figuring out. Meanwhile, you do your best each day to remember why YOU'VE special. You trust your talents and you explore then. You cry when you're down. You find one thing about you each day to plan about. And most importantly you FORGIVE yourself for mistakes made to him and to yourself. See your mind and space will slowly appear clearer and stronger. You may find that one day your pissed that you're even thinking of him...and that's because you'll being to heal!

Meanwhile guess how party but is doing juggling single life then stumbles upon your pictures. They always come back! That's one thing I'm sure if. For what? It varies. But at least you know you have some planning and healing to do.

Start by removing yourself from anything that you'd see him in. That's the part that is the hardest. Letting go to get back to you. Snoop in on your life, give yourself something to do...they say we are a mirror right....well while you're snooping on you and busy with life ...who do you think is gonna snoop on you and see a productive beautiful vision when he is hit over the head by the Universe to cut out the nonsense???? Your guy.

Thank you sweets. Yes, I had removed myself from anything I'd see him in and I guess that's why it was a bit of a shock to see him on the dating site as it has been a long time since I've even saw his face.. But yes, I need to just get back to focusing on me and my life.. Everything will work its self out.. Thanks again for your encouraging words lovely <3