I try not to reflect on my past relationship with my guy. Because I want to live in the present. But the thing about LOA is that we have attracted everything that happens to us. I couldn't figure out how I cause our falling out. And, then when I was on pinterest I remember something I used to do. In the moments when we weren't together and I would miss him-  I would gravitate to quotes and poems about love lost. I knew at the time I was falling hard for the guy.  I was waiting for things to fall apart. I was waiting for the big fall out. I didn't realize at the time. But it was in my thought. I used to pray to God that my guy would stay with me- instead of just thanking God that he was with me. I used be hesitant of speaking about the guy because I was afraid to jinx things. It's actually ironic- the day that I first started openly mentioning him to friends was the day things went south. Because of all the unconscious negativity I brought to our relationship. And, then when it happened it wasn't a bang or a boom like I was waiting for. He just slowly left me. He just faded out of my life. And, I spent so long blaming him because he was the silent one, the one who stopped communicating. But in the grand scheme of the universe I was equally at fault.

It's been 3 months and I never put that together. I never thought about my thoughts prior to us breaking apart. I thought about my actions- I was awesome. I cooked for him, I could make him laugh, I wasn't too needy, I didn't get angry about guys nights, or anything like that. But, spiritually I was horrible. I didn't know about LOA. I didn't know thoughts matter more then actions.

Obviously this revelation is bringing down my vibe a bit. But, I'll bounce back. I happy that I know what happened. I was never angry for what he did. But, I was so confused by him and that was frustrating.  I think I can let it go now.  I can stop analyzing our final moments. Trying to read into the context of things he said.

I also believe that if I caused my break up with my thoughts, that I can cause our reuniting. I was so confused in the end because I just didn't understand what went wrong- was it another girl? Was it a sign we shouldn't be together? Did he really just stop liking me? That pressure is off. There is not other girl. The universe was not overriding my relationship. He still does care. It was me. So I'm going to take responsibility for that. And, I'm going wield this power to work in my favor.