happyinlove wrote:

RollingRock33 wrote:

So the whole "Even if I had feelings for you, I wouldn't tell you. I;d just deny that I have feelings when you ask, and I wouldn't act upon them or show them" thing is really kind of tripping me up lol...

I'm feeling a little low today. Does anyone think that's a good thing? It tells me she's into me. She's literally doing exactly what she said there. I'd like some advice and definitely some thoughts on what that statement would mean from her. I know she's the only one who could tell me, but some help decyphering would be excellent! Thanks so much! Trying hard to stay positive and hopeful!

Your not getting it. Your still putting all your energy into trying to figure out every word. Why focus on thag. Seriously I can't stress enough focus on you. You are so wrapped in the situation. Yes Veronica said you don't have to do no contact but does she know how wrapped you are in this? No contact would do you some good.

How do I cope with how things are? Trying really hard
 

happyinlove wrote:

Read the secret, go back to previous posts and see the advice that was given. We have all told you this before you just won't listen. You keep contacting her. This isn't helping you you are just keeping the cycle going. Do you want a better life for you? Do you want to feel better? Then go back to our advice on your first post. She will be attracted to the you that you love. But really you should want to do this so you find you again and feel happy.

How can I be sure that when I give up on reaching out, she won't just go with it and ignore me too? Or walk away? She's made it quite clear she's not ready for a relationship and everything (Which worries me... could it just be an excuse?). I just want her back, and I can't seem to hold onto the faith that this stuff works for very long. Blah. I can go back and reread (which I've done - yes, I am listening. I've stayed in NC for a little while), however, I just don't believe there's a possibility to getting her back and I have so much more fear than faith. If I go on long-term NC, then what if this all doesn't work, and she just walks out and finds someone else? Hm? - I think the best thing for me to do right now is to find a way to fully believe in this stuff. And trust me when I say I've tried. I've looked and found signs that can't just be a coincidence (this shows we create our own raelity), yet, my skepticism keeps creeping in and I backtrack. I always find myself saying, "Woah this is so great! This can't be a coincidence". Then I think, "Eh. Maybe it is..." I find it hard to have complete faith in this. I can't just forcemyself to have faith. So what can I do to really get the faith? I've read the secret, and I didn't like the writing style. It really sounded new-age-y and pseudoscientific. 

I just need to find a way to clear all doubts... And I'm finding it difficult to find a driect and permenant way of doing so.

I'm sure it's the uncertainty of the future that scares me into doubting more than anything. If this doesn't work, I don't think she'll be with me. If it does work, then I can't worry. And the uncertainty of whether or not this works, stops me from believing and makes me worry, "What if it doesn't work and I'm just staying hopeful only to be let down, when I find she's found another guy?" - The happiness and hopefulness of my wishes would bring me so far down, after I see things go the opposite way, and I wouldn't know how to live anympre.

Sam wrote:

I have told you this before. Repeatedly. You are trying to reach for thoughts and emotions that are on a TOTALLY different vibration than you. You literally are UNABLE to reach them. That's why it feels so bad to try and fail to have faith!

You need to RAISE your VIBRATION before you can build your faith. You cannot reach the vibration of believing while sitting on a vibration of DOUBT and FEAR.

Here's the thing, your "positive" attitude lately is totally forced. It's not real. We can tell. You can't hide your vibration. It's all energy and people can feel it. Your true vibration reeks of fear and desperation. You have to do the work of ACTUALLY, TRULY raising your vibration, SEPARATE of her.

You're afraid of going NC because you're scared that'll be the end of it but if you have HONESTLY read and understood the replies you've gotten, then you'd understand that continuing to contact her from a shitty vibration- THAT will push her away. The tighter you try to hold on, the farther she'll go.

This! Raising your vibration should be your first step. I know what you think: "I don't want to raise my vibration, I want my girl back". But raising your vibration without doing it only to get her back but because it feels good is the quickest way to get her, even if you don't see how that is so. I can tell you what raising my vibration just a little bit has done for me. I slowly come to the state of knowing. I have tried to get there from my old vibration for 2 months but couldn't manage to do it. After a few days in a higher vibration I got there. I feel more relaxed, my resistance got less, I think about him less and feel the relationship with him more. It makes everything easier, believe me. With your now vibration it is impossible for her to come back. It doesn't help to stay in contact. She can even meet another guy if you are in contact. But who cares about another guy? You want her, you can have her but you have to shift your focus from what is to what you want and I don't mean that you want her. We all got that. Concentrate on the relationship you want with her and feel it, don't think you want it so bad and feel the lack of it.