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5/28/2016 10:34 am  #1


Not sure if this is success or not

My BF and I split up about 3 months ago (7years together), we were having a rather tough time for the past year. I wanted to work on it, he didn`t and moved out. I see now that it was much needed, and I can`t really see how we could have worked on it without that break. But it hurt like hell, as you know from your experiences. I felt like calling him/texting would be crossing the line of my self-respect, because I felt like I tried reaching out when we were still together, and I just couldn`t go any further. So since the day he moved out 3 months ago we didnt have any contact all, nothing. I went through a period of grief, crying every night, feeling so extremally lonely and forsaken, the usual. I missed him like crazy but just couldnt bring myself to contacting him, it felt like begging.
Anyways, I found Veronica and this forum about a week ago. Since then I practiced RS and Lanie`s PW method, and I felt like I generally reached a state where this whole thing didnt bring me down so terribly. Today I was having a reallly good day, good mood, and I see a missed call - it was him. I know I shouldnt really be surprised, but I was shocked. I actually didnt expect a call anytime soon, he is a very stubborn and proud man, and I know it probably took a lot from him. So I called back and we chatted a while, just sweet nothing, I asked him how to fix something in my bike because I had no clue, and he said hey its my day off I can come over and fix it for you. So I was like....ummm ok. A little shocked, stilll couldnt quite believe it. He came over, and it turned the dent was faulty and he said why dont we drive to the store, they can fix it there. So we drove to the store, and while we waited we had coffee and talked aย  little about what was going on in our lives. And it was strange, because it felt like nothing happened between us, like no time passed, just a usual every day relaxed convo, But A LOT happened, and inside I felt strange. Like an elephant in a room that no one is discussing. We got back to my place, he put the bike together and left. He didnt give off a vibe of "I miss you terribly, please take me back". Like we`re just normal friends, nothing major happened, no lingering feelings. After he left I just felt this sadness. I dont know what I was hoping for

I am confused a little. I really am not sure what to make of it.
Did he really just move on and wanted to catch up like we`re some old friends? Does that happen lol :>
We didnt talk at all about our issues, not even when we were splitting up.

I know I sound like all those confused ppl with million questions on this forum :>
I guess I just need a little encouragement, and I dont really have anyone to talk to about this.

 

5/28/2016 12:54 pm  #2


Re: Not sure if this is success or not

i take that as very good news, he reached out to you first and he also came to you in person to help you with something. i find it good that he did not ask you for anything in return, my fiancรฉ talks to me but at the end of the day he's also asking for something so it's a little harder b/c idk if he is being genuine or not. by him coming over to help you it really shows that he cares for you. I'm having the problem of my fiancรฉ saying the i miss you or lets work things out too so I can't answer that part for you but i'm trying to always thinking positive thoughts as much as I can, and you should continue too. ย good luck!


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5/28/2016 1:14 pm  #3


Re: Not sure if this is success or not

I think that this is great news! HE came back to YOU after 3 months of no contact!! Regardless of what he was acting like around you, he obviously does miss you because if he didn't care and moved on he wouldnt have called you and want to catch up with you at all! Just keep being positive because this is only the beginning and you're off to a great start congratsย 

 

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