I've been feeling a lot more confident in myself lately and I think it's because subconciously I started changing my story when it came to my break up. I decided ages ago that we broke up because I had personal emotional issues that he could not handle. I needed therapy when we were together but never got it until after we broke up last year. Then I decided that he finds me more attractive than any other girl he's ever been with. I used actual evidence to back this up-he said it to me in person a lot before, he dumped other rebound girls to get back together with me, he still said that I was the most attractive girl he's ever known AFTER he met his current 'girlfriend' at work. Even when he started rebounding with this girl, he hid her from me and told me she was crazy and he didn't like her much. He went for her after I had another emotional break down because she was there and she was easy, she's just a friend, I was the one he wanted. His last words to me, which he only said a month ago, was that I'm beautiful and so caring and amazing. I decided he does not deserve to be the cause of any sadness I have, that he is not that powerful over me, it comes from childhood. I decided that HE was luck to have ME and not the other way around. All his friends think I'm lovely and cool and pretty so that made me feel that they envied him, therefore he was luckier than he even knew. I think he thinks I have a boyfriend right now because some of his friends thought I had a boyfriend and have probably told him and that's another reason why he can't talk to me, he's overcome with jealousy and frustration that he really might have lost me and is tied up to a witch right now. The witch also realises I'm a better fit for him, because she won't let him even speak to me and lied about me to get him. That won't last. He will come back and when he does, I may not choose to be with him again because honestly....he doesn't deserve another chance. He'd be luckier than me to have another chance with us. I still care about him and love him, which is even more of a reason why I'm the most perfect girl for him, but I have my standards and my boundaries and won't let myself be played by him either, I'm no doormat. This mindset, which is the TRUTH, has changed my outlook on myself and him and us. It's stripped him of his power over me and given me back mine. No matter what, I know I will have a blessed and a great life because I am a good person and I don't hurt people. There is no need for me to be sad over him anymore or down about myself because of him. For too long I let what happened decide my opinion of myself, I felt second best, unlovable, unworthy, rejected...now I'm back to how I am and I'm smiling and laughing even though I'm by myself, it's not so bad, in fact, being alone is nice, I'm beginning to enjoy solitude and having time to do exactly what I want and have a break from other people. 

So for those of you caught up in the mayhem that is a post break up, switch things up! Look for evidence that maybe they're not good enough for you and not the other way round. I remember the day me and him broke up, as he was breaking up with me , or going on a 'break' as he said, I had this thought in my head 'oh ffs I'm the most perfect girl for you, no other girl will ever get you like I do, you're being an idiot' but of course didn't say it and as he was trying to tell me the reasons why he wanted space he had this flash across his face and looked up at me and said 'and after I have that space, I'll probably realise...that you're actually most likely the perfect girl for me O.O ' and I remember looking at him like, 'bingo, you got it'. 

So yeah having that mindset does change a lot I hate seeing so many people on here so low right now or struggling or taking bread crumbs, step back guys and see it in a fresh perspective ! Don't get stuck on small details of the picture, just look at it and from all angles. Like how Alice felt in wonderland, life isn't always what it seems, it can be very different to what you think it is.