ShootingStar wrote:

As a person who has been through a lot of experience in my short life, I've realised how vital it is to not accept breadcrumbs or a relationship that you don't want even it's from the person you want. Don't accept friends with benefits, don't even accept friends to a large extent, don't accept being the other woman or the back up, do not accept. It only leads to bad ends. Have enough belief in yourself and your worth to say 'I'm afraid I can't do that' to a person who asks something you know you don't want but you feel you have to do to keep that person. It doesn't keep the person and you lose yourself too. Sometimes the universe can play with us, 'here is the PERSON you want, isn't THAT what you wanted, you visualized sleeping with them, you visualized them flirting with you , kissing you, this is what you wanted right?' and you say 'no, actually, I want them to say they LOVE me , I want them to WANT me as I want them' and then hold onto that strongly. Feel the faith it can happen. Feel the power of rejecting their breadcrumbs because you know they can offer you more. Feel the love for yourself as you pull yourself out of going down a hole. IF I knew this last year, my situation would have been sooo different I know for sure. Don't shoot yourself in the foot! Don't give in to less than you want. 

I just LOVE LOVE LOVE your posts and comments they resonate with me sooo much! This is the reason why I didn't reply back to my love when she only wanted something from me when it was convenient for her then she apologized s few days later once she realized I didn't reply back. But I had an Intuition that I shouldn't reply back to her and I'm sooo glad I didn't! I knew my worth and I didn't wanna be a second option for her or be available only when she wanted to message me. So I love this post because I know I made the right decision in not texting her back because I don't stand for that. I will not be an option and available for someone only when they want to. Even when she apologized something told me I shouldn't reply back because she always says sorry and I chose not to give into that again. I had to change my patterns into a new pattern, and I'm so proud of myself for that!

True very true Shooting Star...even if i would have realized this before my situation would have been different.. but again thanks to the situation which lead me to know about this amazing LAW OF ATTRACTION!😊

Thanks everyone I'm glad my post did resonate with you guys because I really do like to pass on what I've learned from my experiences, good and bad, because I feel that we don't always have to make our own mistakes and we can learn from other people's mistakes  

Hollistichealing- just a little thought about what you said, but there's an expression I heard that if someone says to you that you can do better, they're telling the truth... not in terms of they're not a great person, but more in terms of what they have to offer you right now....if they see your worth, you need to see it to and thank them and then leave the situation to call their bluff basically until they can step up to the plate. If they tell you that you can do better but you don't leave the situation, then they subconsciously start to feel that you may not think you can do better yourself and what they're giving to you right now is enough for you which devalues you as a person tremendously so pay attention to what he says and does !

Maybe you should tell him that you don't want him to go on a date with anyone else? Like sometimes being honest and vulnerable and authentic to our truth can get through to people a lot more than niceness

I would say that now that you have been honest with him, it's best to go no contact for a little while, if he contacts you just say that you think you need some space for yourself and that if he's going to be going on dates, you don't want to be in a situation where he's flirting with you. Let him really understand that and understand what you want and that you aren't happy with what you're getting and that you want it all or nothing at all. But do it in a non demanding way, don't put pressure on him, in fact be lovely about it. Be almost too lovely, 'Ex : 'hey I haven;t heard from you?' 'oh hey, well honestly I thought it was better for me to keep away from this for a little while because you're seem to not be in a place where you want to get involved with me and I know I'm ready for relationship and I've been listening to what you said, and I think maybe you're right so I'm going to give dating other a people a try thanks for your encouragement, you're really sweet ' and that will send a clear message to him that you are seeing yourself as valuable and you aren't willing to be around while he dates others but you're not demanding him of anything.