This is a totally non-negative post but I thought I would make it because it's something I wish I knew and something that my friend has just had the misfortune of going through!

We're here because we want exs back, a lot of us are looking forward or hoping for that day to come and in some cases boom! it seems to come ! But word of warning : sometimes it 'comes' but not in the way you're hoping. My friend wanted his ex back for a few months now, a month ago she started talking to him through facebook again and even had a coffee with him and he was over the moon, absolutely thrilled, but last night he called me, really upset. She told him that she didn't want to 'lead him on' that she had only initiated contact because she was feeling lonely and missed him but now the guy she had her eye on has heard she was hanging out with my friend and wants to give it a proper go with her and of course, my poor friend has been pushed aside again and he's gutted. A very similar thing happened to me, I thought it was all coming together, I had it, woo hoo, but then boom-gone ! I believe in my friend's case, he got ahead of himself, instead of treating it casually and having positivity about the situation without expectation because they had only just started contact, he thought they were getting back together. These things happen, they really do, if your ex is lonely, in a bad place in their lives, they can often call on you for support or lead you on or use you in some way. So my advice is, if your ex or specific person gets in contact, even invites you out, do not allow yourself to get carried away. Have appreciation for it, treat it with positivity, but until things do progress to a place where you are getting back together, keep yourself grounded and take it lightly, gently, like you would if you had just met this person for the first time and were just getting to know them again. It takes time to rebuild a relationship, if you're in a good vibration, you will be in a place where you can take the time and not get anxious about 'where is this going' or getting over excited thinking you're back together too soon. My friend was quick to give off the impression that he had been dying to reconnect with her and he gave her his full attention and acted like she was the greatest thing in his life because he was so over joyed she was even talking to him again. Next time he says he's going to take it a lot slower and keep himself grounded emotionally with no expectation. So I advise everyone here to being preparing for this ! Because if/when you get the person you want in contact, you can begin a good solid and better relationship by starting off in a good place, not too fast or eager ! I was so eager with my person last time he came back that I basically smothered him because I realised even though in my head we were back together, he never actually said the words to me so we were really just 'hanging out'. No harm can ever come from going slow It can only make the person want and respect you more