I've recently had a up and down time with moods so I downloaded the app daylio that records moods and then tells you in a graph how you were mood wise through the week. I found some interesting things out...the days where I was down were the days I wrote in that I was thinking about my person in someway or another at some stage, then other bad things or not so great things would end up happening that day. The days where I felt good, I didn't mention thinking about that person and I ended up having good things happen or productive things happen....I'll say a little bit more too, I tried to contact him a week ago to send a positive neutral message because he's home after travelling and got nothing back and that did make me feel ill feelings towards him and built up resistance so I was angry and upset when I thought about him lately but then it did get me to thinking....what if, at this stage, I'm in love with a person who simply isn't there anymore? What if he's changed and what if he changed while we were still together but I couldn't see it or understand it and that's what caused the discord and that's why we broke up? Like attracts like...we were attracted together, but we broke up....maybe there are times when we do attract each other naturally, maybe that will always be the case, but maybe there will also be times when we don't and maybe that will also always be the case. Does anyone else have that feeling? That they are in love with the person they're wanting but then there are times when they were with that person that the vibe and flow was just so disconnected, maybe at times they seemed like a stranger, cold, but then we like to forget those times for the times we felt so happy and in love with them. Because a thought came randomly into my head while I was thinking about him yesterday...the thought was me imagining what I would say to him via text and the line was 'If I had known you were going to treat me this callously after we had broken up, I would have never have agreed to go out with you in the first place'. Words of anger, yes, but also something did hit me that said...he was my dream when we were together and in love but look at things now...look how he ignores even my neutral civil communication...that's not what the man of my dreams would do, that's not what THIS PERSON would have done only 2 years ago. When I first met this person, he was the most caring and warm person, he even had a coffee with his ex at one stage just to see how she was when I was with him and I thought, awh that's so nice, he'll do that for me if things go wrong so at least I can feel safe...I don't know if the person I want is still that original person, the one I fell in love with :/ I still would like to attract him back, just to see, but I'm starting to think that I might find out I don't love him the same anymore when I do...

Last edited by ShootingStar (4/16/2016 8:38 pm)