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I have a slightttllyy different take on this. I think your situation is especially difficult because you have a child together with him. I really believe that if you hadn't his child, you'd be sending out great vibes and back together with him. I think you fear for your child somewhere in this, you really want her to have a father, a family, and you're so worried about her that your neediness for him is there because you want your child to feel the love of a father who is always around, and the perfect stable home. There is a lot at stake and that's where the resistance comes from. It's completely understandable. Also it's ok to be hurt that he's off dating, it's ok to feel angry, frustrated, upset, you're a human, we feel, we're not robots. Feeling the emotions naturally is good to let them go. If you need to cry, cry. If you hold it in, it won't go anywhere, it will stay inside of you festering. Then, after you have let out some of the negative emotion, start to feel the emotion of love and where better than focusing your attention on your child. Feel the uncondtional love for your child and let it make you feel happy and give you purpose and light. Children bring joy, it's their greatest gift. Your child needs you, your child loves you with every fibre of their being, you are their entire world. Yes the father is off somewhere and his love doesn't seem to be around, but that doesn't mean you are unloved and that is what you need to remember. And your child will not go unloved or not loved enough if father isn't around, because you love your child and your family do. You will be loved by a man again, whether it be this man or another man, but you have to feel love and when you are in love with someone, including in love with your child, you vibrate the most joyous positive energy that attracts people to be around you and to be apart of your world, creating more love for you Don't feel like everything around you is because of you, don't beat yourself up, just make a decision that you will allow yourself to feel but not linger in the feelings of sadness and anger and dissappointment but then return as fast as possible to feeling love again then watch as things will start to pan out
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ShootingStar wrote:
I have a slightttllyy different take on this. I think your situation is especially difficult because you have a child together with him. I really believe that if you hadn't his child, you'd be sending out great vibes and back together with him. I think you fear for your child somewhere in this, you really want her to have a father, a family, and you're so worried about her that your neediness for him is there because you want your child to feel the love of a father who is always around, and the perfect stable home. There is a lot at stake and that's where the resistance comes from. It's completely understandable. Also it's ok to be hurt that he's off dating, it's ok to feel angry, frustrated, upset, you're a human, we feel, we're not robots. Feeling the emotions naturally is good to let them go. If you need to cry, cry. If you hold it in, it won't go anywhere, it will stay inside of you festering. Then, after you have let out some of the negative emotion, start to feel the emotion of love and where better than focusing your attention on your child. Feel the uncondtional love for your child and let it make you feel happy and give you purpose and light. Children bring joy, it's their greatest gift. Your child needs you, your child loves you with every fibre of their being, you are their entire world. Yes the father is off somewhere and his love doesn't seem to be around, but that doesn't mean you are unloved and that is what you need to remember. And your child will not go unloved or not loved enough if father isn't around, because you love your child and your family do. You will be loved by a man again, whether it be this man or another man, but you have to feel love and when you are in love with someone, including in love with your child, you vibrate the most joyous positive energy that attracts people to be around you and to be apart of your world, creating more love for you Don't feel like everything around you is because of you, don't beat yourself up, just make a decision that you will allow yourself to feel but not linger in the feelings of sadness and anger and dissappointment but then return as fast as possible to feeling love again then watch as things will start to pan out
Ok so you are in my head. And so very on point. It is the reality we have a kid and family is everything to me. Our life together was so precious and when she came it got harder and I've cried several days wondering how on earth I'm going to do this alone and how can you not love this little girl. And though he does, he isn't around enough because of work and now because we aren't a couple. Dating seems selfish for me. I'm already not around her when I work so to go on dates...yeah not hardly a thought, but when I'm with him it was while, at least I felt, and I do get my spark changed with having her and the single life probably looks good. But after this weekend, being stood up I realised it's not worth the stress any more. And then I'm here stressing you guys out...Its amazing that the once world at her feet girl is pining over someone who at the moment isn't vibrating what I want.
My kids every thing, and though I worry about him it's not just him it's a life together with her too. A unit. 2 functioning parents that groom a child to be an amazing person. Yes one parent can do it and I'm learning every day how too.
Loving my daughter isn't questionable, no one in our vicinty would guess I'm hurting because she rocks my world in so many ways. We do everything together...except go to work and anyone with a kid alone can gather, it does get a bit harder some nights sleeping with tiny feet in your back versus a man in your arms. I'm not one to lie and say I don't get lonely...I do! Hence me being here, is all being here.
He sent me a message to do lunch or dinner this week since he is stationed here...it's surprising, but after all this, I totally want to just develop my thick confident skin and not be exposed until I know I can be exposed and be ok with it. And trust he is back to making me..hell US his priority too. Thank you for seeing it's not just about me, ITS ABOUT OUR FAMILY.
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I've been in this position, and actually it is just about you. It truly is. I was also a single mummy of 2 babies, and initially I fought for our family- of course. But the thing is, if you can't find happiness within yourself, you aren't a fabulous team player, and the family thing gets messy. You have to become strong, and unwavering in your convictions that this is YOUR LIFE, and you will find joy and peace and happiness and all the love you could ever possibly need inside of yourself. It's in there- it doesn't lie within another person.
You are trying to compete- but from a place of love and alignment, there is absolutely no competition. There simply isn't. It's just you and your desires, and your focus upon achieving them. None of the history matters. Nothing that happened yesterday should be carried into today- unless it was fabulous. You truly must let go of the idea that you need another to make your family complete. You actually don't. You can be a stellar mommy and have the time of your life with your children.. And if you can do it in love and eagerness for tomorrow? THEN everything that you are wanting will come to you. Try to take the focus off your old storytelling, as it truly doesn't serve you. And try to remember that you don't need anyone. Find what you are looking for within yourself, and then the universe will feel THAT amazing vibration and match you up with what you REALLY want.
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Please don't get me wrong, I absolutely would not say that your child can be a replacement for the love of a partner, my mum is a single mum and I know she wants a man in her life , she wants romantic love and you deserve romantic affection. But Abraham always says that you don't need to beat yourself up for any problems in your life, you just acknowledge them and then move into a better feeling feeling. I hope your next interaction with him is wonderful and that you can start rebuilding your connection I hope that he does see the light soon. Make him the moth to your flame, shine bright , be warm, allow him to fly right into you. You are a wonderful person and would be a great wife to him, remember that! Ignore his blunders and forgive his failings so far, think of him as a lost sheep who is just misguided right now. Be excited and appreciative of every small effort he makes so he will feel encouraged to do more and just be loveable in the vibe of love
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Cherished wrote:
I've been in this position, and actually it is just about you. It truly is. I was also a single mummy of 2 babies, and initially I fought for our family- of course. But the thing is, if you can't find happiness within yourself, you aren't a fabulous team player, and the family thing gets messy. You have to become strong, and unwavering in your convictions that this is YOUR LIFE, and you will find joy and peace and happiness and all the love you could ever possibly need inside of yourself. It's in there- it doesn't lie within another person.
You are trying to compete- but from a place of love and alignment, there is absolutely no competition. There simply isn't. It's just you and your desires, and your focus upon achieving them. None of the history matters. Nothing that happened yesterday should be carried into today- unless it was fabulous. You truly must let go of the idea that you need another to make your family complete. You actually don't. You can be a stellar mommy and have the time of your life with your children.. And if you can do it in love and eagerness for tomorrow? THEN everything that you are wanting will come to you. Try to take the focus off your old storytelling, as it truly doesn't serve you. And try to remember that you don't need anyone. Find what you are looking for within yourself, and then the universe will feel THAT amazing vibration and match you up with what you REALLY want.
Thanks
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ShootingStar wrote:
Please don't get me wrong, I absolutely would not say that your child can be a replacement for the love of a partner, my mum is a single mum and I know she wants a man in her life , she wants romantic love and you deserve romantic affection. But Abraham always says that you don't need to beat yourself up for any problems in your life, you just acknowledge them and then move into a better feeling feeling. I hope your next interaction with him is wonderful and that you can start rebuilding your connection I hope that he does see the light soon. Make him the moth to your flame, shine bright , be warm, allow him to fly right into you. You are a wonderful person and would be a great wife to him, remember that! Ignore his blunders and forgive his failings so far, think of him as a lost sheep who is just misguided right now. Be excited and appreciative of every small effort he makes so he will feel encouraged to do more and just be loveable in the vibe of love
Oh I get you weren't trying to get me to replace my girl for a man, but I think people tend to forget, ratings hard or finding companionship with a toddler, well kid period because the child's the focus. I know I don't need anyone, but like your mom, the desire to be romantically loved and adored us a truly priceless emotion.
I too hope our interactions better. I don't know when utll be but I was looking forward to him being gone for 2 weeks to gather myself. But I'm still going to because what I want at the moment is peace...no mind games, no confusion, no self doubt, no worry, just the cnfdence that I got this no matter what THIS is.
And that's my challenge ultimately. I like your reference to Abraham. I listen to her often, have ever subscribed to get stuff daily, and one thing I cringe at it hearing you gotta get into alignment and it falls into place and the only thing I wanna scream is HOW????? Lol, because you want step by step and you can hear the person asking wondering the same. The answer is always to love them where they are, even if not with you and work in your own vortex...so into my circle I go...goodnight you guys...prayerfully my sabbatical will prove positive and the nectvfew weeks of hard core self love and motivation will prove to have high changes.