Is that the best thing to do? It sucks to feel this way but I love him and feel he should be happy despite what he did to me & if he's happy with her, why should I attract him back to me? Even though I had always thought he was really happy with me, he always said he was really happy with me...:/

Also I forgot to add, I have moved up the ladder, I think I've been hovering around anger/hatred like you said, and I am definitely okay with being single right now. I haven't reached the point of forgiveness yet though, but I am happy & do sometimes just purely love him. Most of the time I am at anger though. And it is through that that I have actually begun to heal, and nevertheless at moving up the ladder I still have wanted him the entire time. It wasn't even seeing him yesterday though that made me feel like this..it was reading how much he was saying he felt blessed and thankful and loved her and was happy that made me step back like, is it worth it if he's happy? I know I made him happy & he said the same stuff about me..but still if he is happy, is it really okay to still be trying here?

Last edited by LaughBella14 (3/28/2016 1:12 pm)

lar019 wrote:

Then the thing to remember is that what you see on social media is a blip in time. How many times have you posted something really up beat and positive about your life, and then a few days later or so you're having a really terrible day? Or most of the time you just feel good, but you are inspired to post wonderful things when you feel fantastic? My point with that, is that feelings change constantly; and on social media, most people only post about things when things are great. He once felt really happy with you, and then he didn't...so why can't that happen with this girl too? Plus, you aren't in his head; you don't know that every moment he's completely thankful or blessed - maybe he needs to write that to affirm he isn't making the biggest mistake of his life. You really don't know, and can't know how someone truly thinks and feels.

This weekend, you had the realization that looking at his social media was drawing focus on to what current reality is; and was only bringing you more of that. At the first opportunity, you allowed someone to show you his fb page lol, and you fell off the wagon you just got on to. I think you described checking in on him like an addiction - well if you want to quit drinking, you can't accept the first drink that someone offers you! lol.

It's good that you're moving up the ladder and feeling the emotions. I can understand the feeling of loving him, while still angry and not at forgiveness yet. I had feelings like that too towards my guy - however, once I did reach that forgiveness; the love that I had was different for my guy. I don't believe love can be pure when there is still anger there; and it wasn't until I reached forgiveness that I came to that believe. It's easier to turn it around and think "if someone was really angry at me, and couldn't forgive me; would I feel pure, unconditional love from them?" For me, I feel there's a condition in there. I'm just throwing that out there as a thought to chew on.

Do you believe you can make your guy happier than he already is right now? Do you think you can make him the happiest he'll ever be, while also maintaining your happiness? If you honestly, deep down believe that you would be the best person for him, that no one will can/will make him happier than you can; and in being that person, you are being exactly who you are/want to be, and truly feel happiness being that person - then I ABSOLUTELY think you should continue trying. But if deep down inside, you don't feel that way - you don't think you can be that person, then it's time to step back until either you do believe you can be that person; or until you believe there is someone better out there for you.  

 
Absolutely love this. I have been separated from my fella for over a year. I still feel that if my Love is still as strong as the day I fell for him that is pure. Not just my ego talking.

I have made an absolute fool out of myself. I have had him cuss me. Yes I do deserve better but I also brought it on myself because of desperation.  I kinda feel that anger is still an emotion, that was taken out on me.  We were just not in alignment yet.

Trust me, I actually came to this realization in the last couple days.  Right now I just feel at peace.  I just know that the universe (God) has my back and it is going to work out.

As for Facebook though.  My advice get rid of that crap. It's more like fakebook. I'm sure your ex knows that you check up on him through it.  It just adds fuel to the fire.