So after meeting up with my daughters father, I felt peace in the moment that I was able to acknowledge my portion of the end of our relationship and then I was ok.

The next day he invited us to come to dinner with his oldest daughter and our daughter and his parents. We got a second together afterwards and here is where it went a bit sour.

He stated clearly how much he still loved me but thought it was better to just allow it to be what it is for now because the damage of having another kid was in the way of appreciating how much in love he could have been.

He said his past with his ex, and all the damage over time with his life is prohibiting him from seeing that anything was worth his time. And though he had a few bumps in the road, his only happiness was us and having a baby added to more stress financially. He said if he was a millionaire and we moved to Canada it would be the best, but being here around all his stress wont allow him to think of anything but stress. He then told me that the choice to be a family man was too much on him and if I could understand it wasn't personal I WOULD REALIZE IT WASN'T  ALL ME.

THE ONLY THING I FEEL RIGHT NOW IS COMPLETE FAILURE. i DID ALL IC OULD TO LOVE HIM THROUGH HIS PREEXISITING PAIN!

He said he wasn't looking to the future he is only occupied with right now. Yes, he thinks of me, yes he misses me, but right now all he can do is let the negativity in because its the only thing he knows and it out weighs the positive that was us...They say hurt people hurt people...and now guess what, I am hurt....I don't know how the LOA can help him and me any more guys...i just dont know.