What video games you play?

Good to hear you're doing well man!

Hi Justin, or FYE,

I am so happy for you! It seems like you've got this down! I'm slightly jealous, and would love to pick your brain!

What have you done to eliminate doubt, worry, and fear? I feel like I may still have some underlying doubt that I'm not aware of (did that make sense?) ans would love to hear your opinion/techniques, etc!

big_blue wrote:

Hi Justin, or FYE,

I am so happy for you! It seems like you've got this down! I'm slightly jealous, and would love to pick your brain!

What have you done to eliminate doubt, worry, and fear? I feel like I may still have some underlying doubt that I'm not aware of (did that make sense?) ans would love to hear your opinion/techniques, etc!

I'll keep this as brief as I can: start doing things for you (and you alone) and stop seeking approval from others. Once you do this, all doubt disintegrates.

You are not bad.
You are not ugly.
You are not flawed.
You do not have to hide your perceived flaws or mistakes.
You do not have to do anything to win someone else's approval.
People can (and will) love you just the way you are.

Learn to please you.

Spend extended time alone so you can discover who you are, what you like about yourself and others, and what rules you choose to govern your life. When alone, you can do whatever you want without having to please or compromise. When alone, you will be less likely to caretake, seek approval, sacrifice your self, or try to fix someone else's problems.

Also, it will help you face your fears of loneliness and isolation. When you finally do this (spend time alone), you will realize that you don't have to stay in shitty relationships, tolerate intolerable behavior, allow boundary violations, or manipulate people to get your needs met. Why the **** would you ever settle for less? Don't you deserve a "**** YES" person in your life, instead of a "Meh" or a "No"?

Further, stop believing that if you do X, then someone else should do Y. Cut out the conditional ****. For example, many people believe that if they are "good" and "nice," then they should get love in return, get their needs met, and have no problems in life. But it doesn't work that way. Feel comfortable enough in your own skin to shed any unconscious strings attached to any actions you take.

I know that you may think you did X for your ex, and so your ex "owes" you Y. Or you believe that if you only did X, then he/she would see how amazing you are and come running into your arms and **** the **** out of you, marry you, have 45 kids, a house with a white picket fence, etc.

But it doesn't work that way. Stop giving to others hoping to get something in return. That's not real giving. And I mean giving in any way, even with your thoughts and attention. Be completely outcome independent. Otherwise, when you don't get it (and you won't), you will just feel frustrated and resentful.

If you put yourself first, always, here are the benefits:

(1) You actually increase the likelihood of getting what you desire.
(2) You can give without any resentment and expectation.
(3) You can actually love another person because you genuinely know and love yourself.
(4) You become less needy.
(5) You become attractive.

That last point is probably the most important. We are talking about LOA, right? Yes. By focusing on you, you become attractive. Extremely attractive. Which means you will attract anything you desire. Put yourself first in all areas of your life. And watch what life does for you.

I'll conclude with another important point. It's time to surrender. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's time. Surrender does not mean simply giving up. It means letting go of what you can't change and changing what you can. Surrender means seeing each life experience as a "gift" from the Universe to stimulate growth, learning, healing, and change. Perhaps you didn't set proper boundaries with your ex or with others. Perhaps you let him/her walk all over you. Perhaps you didn't even like him/her, and you stuck it out because you felt bad and wanted to rescue your ex or wanted to rescue others. Perhaps the sex was terrible, but you thought, "If I only treat him/her better, the sex will improve." No matter the reason, surrendering allows you to let go of the outcome and focus on the lesson.

Take responsibility for your situation. You created it. No one else is to blame. But know that the way to change it is by staying relaxed, surrendering, and focusing on you. No matter what you face, you can handle it. You got this.

--Justin

Hot damn! Thank you Justin! I do feel as though I am already doing such things you listed, but there is always room for improvement. Thank you!

Hey stranger...

It's good to hear that you are kicking ass no matter what the goal is..

I'm so eager to hear about the Abe event..I'm so jelly..