This is a fabulous post! And it's so true.. my reasons were all very ego-driven. I wanted to win, and I wanted my power back Lol. You're right, I failed with that mindset. It was only when I BECAME powerful and complete and whole within myself that I could truly appreciate my guy unconditionally. And that's exactly when he started coming back.

holistichealing wrote:

Cherished wrote:

This is a fabulous post! And it's so true.. my reasons were all very ego-driven. I wanted to win, and I wanted my power back Lol. You're right, I failed with that mindset. It was only when I BECAME powerful and complete and whole within myself that I could truly appreciate my guy unconditionally. And that's exactly when he started coming back.

I can say the same about me. I was ego driven and wanted my power back. I was reading your post about every time you got him you became needy. He has been calling me needy lately. He kind of said he would feel cleaner if I wasn't in his life. But when we learn to love ourselves, we become a different person. So doesn't that mean the person he wants rid of is not the loving me, but the negative me?

 
He just wants out of that vibration.

Cherished wrote:

holistichealing wrote:

Cherished wrote:

This is a fabulous post! And it's so true.. my reasons were all very ego-driven. I wanted to win, and I wanted my power back Lol. You're right, I failed with that mindset. It was only when I BECAME powerful and complete and whole within myself that I could truly appreciate my guy unconditionally. And that's exactly when he started coming back.

I can say the same about me. I was ego driven and wanted my power back. I was reading your post about every time you got him you became needy. He has been calling me needy lately. He kind of said he would feel cleaner if I wasn't in his life. But when we learn to love ourselves, we become a different person. So doesn't that mean the person he wants rid of is not the loving me, but the negative me?

 
He just wants out of that vibration.

Yeah, I want out of this vibration too.

Craigd88 wrote:

This is a legit question.

I do love my girl BUT I think most of my motives are because the following:

1. I feel betrayed, tossed aside for another guy. I dont like losing! I am a winner!
2. I am hurt and think that having her back will make me feel better and "complete" me.
3. Confidence, self esteem, self worth and Ego took a HUGE hit from this. I dont like feeling this!
4. Sense of conquest. We want what we think is impossible or what we cannot have!
5. Loneliness
6. Reliable/guaranteed safe sexual experiences. Lets face it, as guys its nice to have our "own" to come home to.


Notice I didn't put "love" on here. Why? Because I don't think I am there yet! Can I really say I love her to the point where I want her happy without me? No I cannot. I am still too hurt by all that happened. I hope to reach that point of unconditional love for her because I believe its necessary for my own healing.

So why do you guys want your exes back? Do any of my points ring a bell? If they do, it may be a clue as to why LOA is NOT working for you in getting them back! 

I am a real dude. I say it as is. I dont BS. 

Dude. This totally hit home for me. I'd say I check off all six of those items (getting better though). Very true post right here!
 

Omg I'm LOVING THIS!! You are all getting this so beautifully!!