Cherished wrote:

Ok I'm back! Yes, you can change this.. but not in the way you think. You're asking the wrong question- can I change his narcissism. The focus is actually put right back onto you. Why and how did you attract narcissism? Drumroll.. The answer lies in your lack of self worth. Your reluctance or inability to stand up for yourself. Your victim mentality. I'm not saying YOU as in you personally btw. But if you attract that kind of obscene, controlling behaviour from someone then you don't feel worthy enough.

How to counteract this? By recognising that yes, we are all fully capable of displaying any and every aspect within our personality. Full spectrum. It's all there waiting to be attracted by others. And what you dish out is a match to what each person feels internally. So, if every behaviour is a potential and you feel unworthy, what are you going to attract? Behaviours from others that further pronounce your unworthiness.

IF however, you transcend your current opinion of YOURSELF, then you are no longer feeling like a victim. Bullied. Attacked. And you instead feel worthy and loved and powerful. So what do you attract from them then? Communication that leaves you feeling loved and worthy. I've experienced this firsthand.

Makes total sense. And no, you're right, I did have low self-worth back then (but not anymore!). As I posted above, everyone has points of harmony you can connect with. I need to focus on them and not these other things that attract that sort of behavior.