wow!!! truly amazing!!!
i was actually thinking the same thing!!!
 

well honestly....
i just dont care what she is doing and i have absolutely no clue !!!!!
i just have good memories and love... and i m pretty happy with them and i know i will make some better ones in future....
until she shows up....m working on being the best version of myself!!!
guess thats a simple plan!!!!

Really nice post and I think it is exactly what I need. But I have a question: do we have to love them even though they now love someone else ??

Milk&Honey wrote:

Really nice post and I think it is exactly what I need. But I have a question: do we have to love them even though they now love someone else ??

Lol..you don't have to love anybody. It is your decision. You can hate him for being with someone else, but does it feel good to hate someone? I don't think so. In my opinion if you can't love him unconditionally your relationship will fall apart again when you two are back together. Doesn't have to be this way but you will struggle, I promise you.

Last edited by Sanshi (2/02/2016 9:34 am)

Sanshi wrote:

Hey all,

I had much insights about this topic in the last few weeks I want to share because I see many here struggeling with it. Lovely Cherished wrote something about that too, check it out: http://veronicaloa.boardhost.com/viewtopic.php?id=150 . But honestly when I read it the first time I didn't really get it because I was at a completely different frequency. So maybe I can help people in my frequency range with my post.

.

Why do you love your guy (girl)? Because of who he is or because of what he does? If you love him because of what he does it's conditonal love. I think most of the people love conditionally. If the guy does something you don't like you are mad at him. If he wouldn't do such and such you would feel better, right?  But what happens if you think this way? You don't accept him the way he is. He has to change for you so that you can be happy again. But he wants to be accepted the way he is, loved the way he is and it makes him unhappy that you are unhappy because of him. So if he change he doesn't do it because he thinks that he should change. He does it for you, but it feels not right for him (neither for you in most cases) and it will leave a scar in his heart and a mark on your relationship.


I know that most people aren't in a relationship right now and want their ex back. Why do I think this topic is important anyway? It has two reasons.

First one is if you succeed you are in a relationship, right? Do you want to go on with it the same way you did before? Do you think everything is good if just your ex is back in your arms? Einstein's definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Think about it carefully.

The second reason I think unconditional love is important is because you can and should practice it right now. I read these days something like "if he slept with another girl I don't want him anymore". I had this thought too and I think many of you would have a problem when you hear something like this about your ex. Many people want to give up when they hear that there is a new girl involved. Why? What has changed between you and your love? If he has an other girl does it hurt you? If you say yes question why. What meaning does it have to you? Does it mean he doesn't love you? No, you can love two people at the same time or you can be with someone you don't love. There are many ways to see things. Does it hurt you because you know he does things with her you don't want him to do? Why does it affect you? You don't see them having sex or something, your love won't have permanent marks on his body by having sex with an other girl, so why do you think it will affect your new relationship? It is just in your head and it is not even your thought. You picked it up on the way from society. Break free from stuff like this and start to love your guy unconditionally.

He didn't reply to your message? His behaviour is cold? He hasn't been contacting you for months? So what? Your end goal isn't that message and it isn't really important if he is back today or tomorrow, right? So start to love him unconditionally. Don't suppress your hurt, but work through it, embrace it and go from hurt to love. It becomes easier with every time you practice it and it feels soooo good if your guy did something you didn't like and you can just love him for what he is in this very moment.

Wow  this was realllllly really refreshing to read! You ALWAYS give the BEST advice and way of looking at things Sanshi!!! ) this really struck me I am so glad I came across this post!! I am going to start loving myself and my loverunconditionally i never really knew what it meant, but I understand now. thank you