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1/30/2016 10:14 am  #1


Help! What do I do now?

Hello all, I am new here but I was a lurker here and at over at PLOA.  I have been trying to attract a guy who isn't exactly an ex but someone who I dated briefly and we have been in off and on contact for like the last 2 years.  I adore this guy, he's AMAZING but we never managed to really get a proper relationship off the ground for a lot of reasons.  I had some good results getting him to contact me after doing RS and all of that so I planned on continuing on that path hoping we could make something happen.

So here is where it gets complicated.  I have a coworker who was really flirty with me and I responded playfully, nothing serious.  I liked him a ton, we had a lot of fun together but I never took it seriously because my heart belongs to someone else.  Well, he started coming on really strongly and I found myself incredibly attracted to him, especially after I had a powerful RS session that was focused on HIM.  I couldn't seem to help myself, he was just in my mind out of the blue, and I wondered if he was thinking of me or unknowingly doing RS on me at the time that that happened?  Well anyway, I decided to throw caution to the wind, have some fun and take a chance with my coworker and we hooked up.  I thought we had a great time.  I let him know that I wasn't looking for anything serious, and I assumed he wasn't either.  I would have been cool with a FWB thing with him until I managed to get something going with the guy I actually want.

Well, now things are awkward with us.  He's basically been ignoring me at work and I haven't had any contact with him otherwise.  This is exactly what I did NOT want to happen.  I did stress to him before we did anything that I didn't want things to be weird at work and now they are.  So there's that.  And to top it off when I try to focus on doing RS on the guy I REALLY want to attract I find myself thinking of my coworker making my feelings for him even more tangled.

I know I probably made a mistake (perhaps there are no mistakes, just learning experiences?  If so I learned my lesson.)  So how do I repair this?  I want everything to be good with my coworker.  I still want to attract the other guy but can't seem to keep my focus on him now.  

Any advice or insight you guys have would be greatly appreciated!

 

1/30/2016 12:06 pm  #2


Re: Help! What do I do now?

How to fix this. Simple. Create new future with the man. That you attract your coworker it means that you send good vibes and he respond to this. After sending bad vibes he go away. Simple. You did create both situation. I sugest to choose one guy and be focus on him. I know that it could difficulte to choose one because i am in same situation. I can choose beetwen two girls. Look in your heart and choose one. I know that it is easy to choose a man/girl who is already attract ot us, or it is closer to us because it is easier to get positive resultat, but is he or she really the one? look in your heart and choose the one and focus on him. For test you can choose another person, who dont attract you. when you will see resultat your faith will grove up and you will have more faith.

 

1/30/2016 1:38 pm  #3


Re: Help! What do I do now?

Thank you Leli.

I do know who I want.  My coworker is (was) an awesome guy but that's not where my heart is.  So I don't want a relationship with him, I just want things to not be awkward anymore.

You are right,  I did create this.  I know my worry about things getting awkward created it.  So now I just have to figure out how to overcome that when my emotions are involved.  Even though I don't have those kind of feelings for him I am still hurt by how he's acting.  And like I said, it has made it more difficult to really focus on the guy I want.  I was feeling really good about the attention he was giving me and now I feel pretty crappy.

     Thread Starter
 

2/07/2016 6:50 pm  #4


Re: Help! What do I do now?

So things are still awkward with my coworker and it's really getting to me.  I am not sure how to get things to be friendly between us again.  Should I try talking to him?  He was kinda short with me when I tried to just ask him what was up in passing the first day I saw him afterward so I don't even know if he's open to talking.  I actually doubt he wants to talk, so that might make it even more awkward?

Even though I don't have "those feelings" for him I'm still hurt by his behavior.  I have a great relationship with all of my other coworkers, we have a really relaxed, fun atmosphere and it really affects my work day when he ignores me or when I have to see him throughout the day when I know he is trying to avoid me.  I am doing my best to keep my vibration high, just in general, but his behavior is hurtful and brings my vibration down.   I just don't know what I did wrong, how he could go from being so completely into me and pursuing me like crazy to this.  

Last edited by stargazer (2/07/2016 6:51 pm)

     Thread Starter
 

2/07/2016 7:17 pm  #5


Re: Help! What do I do now?

@Stargazer

1. What is it that you want? The reason we have desires is we want the 'feelings' that our desires bring to us. The reason we want to be with someone is we WANT to feel unbelievably happy and loved.

But take the guy out of the equation and examine where you are right now in your life. Are you unbelievably happy and loved by everyone around you? Are you happy with yourself and love yourself unconditionally? BE CLEAR WITH WHAT YOU WANT, because it is ONLY in being clear with what you want that you START to change your current reality.

2. You said that when you RSed you co-worker he became sexually attracted to you. Well, that's what RS is for. If you want him to be your friend again, then START IMAGINING AND ACTING AS IF he is already your friend. No ifs and buts. You simply need to imagine before bedtime and when you wake up in the morning.

3. If you cannot focus on the guy that you REALLY want, then just SAY AND IMAGINE YOUR INTENTION with that guy ONCE and MAKE IT VERY REAL IN YOUR IMAGINATION. This can only take 1-3 minutes. After this, let it go. The next time you think about him, do the same. 

4. Revisit your original post and take note of the IFS and BUTS. " But we never managed to really get a proper relationship off the ground for a lot of reasons." This is exactly why you are not having that relationship. 

Imagination is everything. I mean that in a very literal sense. 
 

Last edited by Vera (2/07/2016 7:18 pm)

 

2/07/2016 7:32 pm  #6


Re: Help! What do I do now?

Absolutely spot-on Vera 💜😘


If you imagine it in your mind..
Believe it in your heart..
Feel it in your soul..
You will hold it in your hand 💞 
 

2/07/2016 7:47 pm  #7


Re: Help! What do I do now?

Thanks so much Vera.

That's the thing, I can be having a great time at work and he'll come by and see me with talking with another coworker or something and then turn around and walk away instantly changing how I feel.  I am not sure how I am not supposed to be affected by that kind of thing.  I tried to be nice to him, thinking if I was friendly he would be friendly back and he blew me off.

My coworker was definitely playful etc. before the RS, then it really went up another level.  I don't know if it's possible for things to go back to the way they were before.  It would be nice if they could.

As far as the other guy, the one I really actually want, well I had some things personally, career and health-wise that I wanted to sort out to actually be ready for a relationship before I actually did anything more that visualize about him.  The coworker was supposed to be just a fun distraction (for both of us, I wasn't trying to use him or anything) while I worked on getting the other areas of my life into a better place. 

     Thread Starter
 

2/07/2016 7:53 pm  #8


Re: Help! What do I do now?

Stand in your own power- nobody can take that from you! You are a beautiful, powerful being, and you need to remember that!


If you imagine it in your mind..
Believe it in your heart..
Feel it in your soul..
You will hold it in your hand 💞 
 

2/07/2016 7:54 pm  #9


Re: Help! What do I do now?

Be sure to practice the advice given to you. Receiving advice will not change your reality. You need to apply it. Ignore how he affects you. Why is he more important than you? You are the most important of all in his world because IN YOU lies the absolute power to change your reality. 

 

2/07/2016 8:02 pm  #10


Re: Help! What do I do now?

Thanks Vera!

So what do I do when he's cold to me?  Is there like a mantra I can repeat or something because I haven't been having any luck telling myself it doesn't matter if he's being the way he is.  It hurts because I thought we were friends and having fun and now we're not.  

Something I did want to add is that it all definitely was a huge confidence boost to get so much attention from him too, which I think was helping to convince me to take some action with the other guy and it all changing like it has has definitely shaken my confidence in my ability to attract him too.

Thank you Cherished, maybe that's the mantra I need to repeat!

Last edited by stargazer (2/07/2016 8:17 pm)

     Thread Starter
 

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