Thank you Leli.

I do know who I want.  My coworker is (was) an awesome guy but that's not where my heart is.  So I don't want a relationship with him, I just want things to not be awkward anymore.

You are right,  I did create this.  I know my worry about things getting awkward created it.  So now I just have to figure out how to overcome that when my emotions are involved.  Even though I don't have those kind of feelings for him I am still hurt by how he's acting.  And like I said, it has made it more difficult to really focus on the guy I want.  I was feeling really good about the attention he was giving me and now I feel pretty crappy.

@Stargazer

1. What is it that you want? The reason we have desires is we want the 'feelings' that our desires bring to us. The reason we want to be with someone is we WANT to feel unbelievably happy and loved.

But take the guy out of the equation and examine where you are right now in your life. Are you unbelievably happy and loved by everyone around you? Are you happy with yourself and love yourself unconditionally? BE CLEAR WITH WHAT YOU WANT, because it is ONLY in being clear with what you want that you START to change your current reality.

2. You said that when you RSed you co-worker he became sexually attracted to you. Well, that's what RS is for. If you want him to be your friend again, then START IMAGINING AND ACTING AS IF he is already your friend. No ifs and buts. You simply need to imagine before bedtime and when you wake up in the morning.

3. If you cannot focus on the guy that you REALLY want, then just SAY AND IMAGINE YOUR INTENTION with that guy ONCE and MAKE IT VERY REAL IN YOUR IMAGINATION. This can only take 1-3 minutes. After this, let it go. The next time you think about him, do the same. 

4. Revisit your original post and take note of the IFS and BUTS. " But we never managed to really get a proper relationship off the ground for a lot of reasons." This is exactly why you are not having that relationship. 

Imagination is everything. I mean that in a very literal sense. 
 

Last edited by Vera (2/07/2016 7:18 pm)

Thanks so much Vera.

That's the thing, I can be having a great time at work and he'll come by and see me with talking with another coworker or something and then turn around and walk away instantly changing how I feel.  I am not sure how I am not supposed to be affected by that kind of thing.  I tried to be nice to him, thinking if I was friendly he would be friendly back and he blew me off.

My coworker was definitely playful etc. before the RS, then it really went up another level.  I don't know if it's possible for things to go back to the way they were before.  It would be nice if they could.

As far as the other guy, the one I really actually want, well I had some things personally, career and health-wise that I wanted to sort out to actually be ready for a relationship before I actually did anything more that visualize about him.  The coworker was supposed to be just a fun distraction (for both of us, I wasn't trying to use him or anything) while I worked on getting the other areas of my life into a better place. 

Be sure to practice the advice given to you. Receiving advice will not change your reality. You need to apply it. Ignore how he affects you. Why is he more important than you? You are the most important of all in his world because IN YOU lies the absolute power to change your reality.