Veronica's Law of Attraction Forum » I don't want to be scared anymore

rosetinted · 1/14/2016 5:29 am

Hello everyone I hope all you magical people are having a lovely day and something miraculous happens for you today.

This might be long but I could really use some support today...

I've only ever posted here as support and encouragement, but i'm afraid it's me who needs that today very much so. It's been just over four months since a massive horrible argument with my love, no contact, just gossip from word of mouth that he's staying away to 'help me' and a letter i wrote him about a month ago which I probably shouldn't have sent as I got no reply, but it was kind of strong and an even if I never speak to you again I love you and wish you well vibe.

Suddenly I am filled with panic, it seems to happen after I've committed fully for two days or so to being entirely positive! Maybe I'm trying too hard? I feel he is SO stubborn. But daily meditations, visualisations and forgiveness meditations are starting to make me feel stupid and angry and frustrated when I'm seeing no results! It's like this process works for everyone else but not for me!

I attracted him back once before, BUT i truly believed he loved me and wanted me and couldn't be without me, this time - the argument was so humiliating and he said the worst things anyone has ever said to me, with anyone else I would just be done with them. It's left me embarrassed still, angry at him for not apologising or coming to fix this, I feel like a piece of garbage thrown away that he just doesn't care about. I believe in soul mates and higher spiritual reasons and decisions before we come to this world, which helps me to believe this has happened to me, to US for a reason, for something beautiful.

He's had my number blocked too for months so that's humiliating.

Thing is, I KNOW this LOA stuff! I've used it before I've worked it for good and bad, why do I keep forgetting? why does my situation feel so impossible? It's like a fight going on in my brain! Instead I'm stalking him on social media and stalking every girl who likes a pic or says anything it's EXHAUSTING!!!

I'm scared it's been too long, I'm scared he's with someone else, I'm scared he will never speak to me or love me again, I'm scared I've ruined everything forever, I'm scared I can't fix this that he's too stubborn. I've never loved anyone like I do him, but I've also never had a fall out or such awful things said to me that others deem irreparable. In losing him I've lost MOST of my friends and I'm definitely isolating myself as others opinions seem to either negatively affect me, I hear gossip about myself, or they remind me of him. (One of his housemates is one of my best friends for instance, so I haven't seen her for months, I just can't... hopefully this isn't forever.)

I am SO sorry for this long post, and if its negativity brings anyone down! I'm just trying to get it out of me lol! I woke up in TEARS after an awful dream about him hating me saying I ruined his life and then him going and getting with my best friend, subconscious fears hopefully clearing I'm sure...

But I just thought of this forum immediately and I think you will be the only ones who can understand, and help me shift this massive block I seem to have!

so much infinite love to all of you sending out blessings from my heart

xxx

Cherished · 1/14/2016 5:52 am

There's nothing to be scared of- you have to remember who you are! You know all about LOA, so you've got that in your favour. Any situation can change, but it starts with YOU. You must first change the story, so that the universe has something better to work with! You slow negative momentum by sleeping, meditating, relaxing or thinking of a different topic altogether. By distracting yourself. And you swing it the other way by beginning to find something to appreciate. Anything at all. Get out in nature. There is so much magic and wonder right in front of you! Find just one thing that makes you feel content. Is it an animal? A bath? Some food? Your favourite drink? And really try to appreciate it. You can be in seemingly the worst situation, and still find some beauty. There is even beauty in pain if you can train your mind to seek it out. Everything can change. And quickly. But it has to start with a tiny seed of appreciation, and just a little sprinkling of hope. And THAT you can do, I know it 💜🌈

Last edited by Cherished (1/14/2016 5:53 am)

Cherished · 1/14/2016 6:03 am

I also wanted to add that anger is not well served towards other people. If you are angry, it is always a reflection of your own thoughts. If I am angry at a person, I always look for what it is that I dislike in myself. There is never any point in being angry at another. Fortunately, you already practice LOA so you KNOW this to be true. They are simply playing the role that we hand to them to play. ALWAYS. Your vibration attracts absolutely every situation, event and interaction into your life. So it's a good practice to take responsibility for unconsciously attracting the circumstances around your relationship. Make peace with the fact that you created this, forgive yourself completely, and start to build a better story moving forward.

rosetinted · 1/14/2016 6:52 am

Cherished wrote:
I also wanted to add that anger is not well served towards other people. If you are angry, it is always a reflection of your own thoughts. If I am angry at a person, I always look for what it is that I dislike in myself. There is never any point in being angry at another. Fortunately, you already practice LOA so you KNOW this to be true. They are simply playing the role that we hand to them to play. ALWAYS. Your vibration attracts absolutely every situation, event and interaction into your life. So it's a good practice to take responsibility for unconsciously attracting the circumstances around your relationship. Make peace with the fact that you created this, forgive yourself completely, and start to build a better story moving forward.

Thank you so much for saying just the words I needed to hear, and I will try to put them into action and have a day of gratitude

I think my anger is maybe at myself or I'm not sure? The frustration is from doing the work and then not seeing results fast, but I know as long as I'm actively looking for results I probably won't see them! Terrified of him hating me, of others hating me, but I create that I just want to believe and need to believe that as awful and impossible as this situation feels with all the harmful words and mistakes, that maybe it isn't.

Surely I have this desire for a reason!

Thank you so so much for your encouragement, it's first on my gratitude list today

x

rosetinted · 1/14/2016 7:15 am

Also I've been throwing myself into a lot of Neville Goddard, and reading about visualising people saying what you want them to say and how you want them to be... I feel like I've been doing this consistently with no results, but I think that's because I find it hard to believe that he would say what I want him to say! I do it, but I don't know if I believe it... how do I believe? I love hearing of people seeing miraculous changes in people in their lives! But if I've never felt it from him I'm not sure how to mimic that feeling...

Something of Neville's I was reading last night, that if a physical manifestation can create a feeling, a feeling can create a physical manifestation. I need this in my head on repeat.

I'm scared it's been too long, he's found someone else - terrified of hearing that, that too much damage has been done. I'm frustrated with myself because I want to believe! I want so badly to believe it's not impossible for me and him.

Maybe making peace with all my worst case scenarios is the only way to move forward to the manifestation? I'm creating it all anyway right.

I seem to have got it in my head that too much bad has happened, he's too angry, other people who manifest others back and seem to have brought out such beautiful aspects in their partner, almost like they're a new person, they just don't have as nasty a situation as I've had... but I KNOW that's not true!!! I'm creating him and everyone else in my life.

I apologise for the rant, I feel on the verge of some kind of breakthrough within myself, just wiping away the shame I'm obviously still feeling about it all.

lots of love all
x

Last edited by rosetinted (1/14/2016 7:15 am)

veggiepizzaforever · 1/14/2016 7:17 am

My goodness, I wish we could meet IRL and talk about all this over drinks. My guy and I ended because of a big fight (that I started). I, too, sent my guy a letter December 23. He acknowledged it, said he'll read it but though we've been in contact, he never mentioned it. I even ended it saying something like "let me know if you want to talk/try again but also let me know if you don't want to so I can move on." I know he's busy with work and I know I shouldn't even care because that's part of leaving it up to the Universe but I just get so negative sometimes!

Even now, I'm worked up over something and I can't relax and push it out of my mind but I'm going to try.

Do things that make you feel good-- meditate, visualize etc etc. Do these because they make you feel good, not for the manifestation.

rosetinted · 1/14/2016 7:23 am

veggiepizzaforever wrote:
My goodness, I wish we could meet IRL and talk about all this over drinks. My guy and I ended because of a big fight (that I started). I, too, sent my guy a letter December 23. He acknowledged it, said he'll read it but though we've been in contact, he never mentioned it. I even ended it saying something like "let me know if you want to talk/try again but also let me know if you don't want to so I can move on." I know he's busy with work and I know I shouldn't even care because that's part of leaving it up to the Universe but I just get so negative sometimes!

Even now, I'm worked up over something and I can't relax and push it out of my mind but I'm going to try.

Do things that make you feel good-- meditate, visualize etc etc. Do these because they make you feel good, not for the manifestation.

Definitely, and it's interesting how many similar situations there seem to be on this board. It's so hard to tame the mind sometimes it feels like a wild powerful beast, like no don't take my fears and create that! I was watching that film 'what the bleep do we know' I hadn't seen it in ages, since I was last manifesting him back - and there's this interesting part about how the cells in our body and our emotion receptors are so familiar with fear, sadness, disappointment it's like an addiction. That we are so used to it, and so comfortable with it it's our easiest to go to.

I think that's why sometimes it feels hard to be positive, because our body is actually still vibrating at an old frequency that is so ingrained, but maybe if we push to be positive it will make those muscles stronger...

xx

veggiepizzaforever · 1/14/2016 7:28 am

So I just saw on Twitter that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are back together. That gives me hope.

Berryluv · 1/14/2016 8:30 am

Don't ever ever feel like it's a chore or a rule or that it's hard to stay positive. We are born to naturally thrive in positivity. Go with what's easy, go with what flows. People always think just to get a positive results that have to focus on what they want only. No no no, be generally happy, generally positive. And there are soooo many things to be generally super duper happy about, it doesn't have to be some large thing.
I remember once my dad was telling me the story about this homeless man he saw, singing ontop of his voice, he was so happy. So my dad decided, let me stop at find out what this man is so happy about. The man said (Rastafarian, Jamaican accent, bear with me) "I man free, I man have food in my belly, I man can **** when I want, I man free!"
A homeless man, like think about it, some of us stress over things and take for granted the freedom we have in our lives.

Ok I'm ranting too much..but don't forget the joy in life given by things that are free to all of us.

rosetinted · 1/14/2016 10:12 am

Berryluv wrote:
Don't ever ever feel like it's a chore or a rule or that it's hard to stay positive. We are born to naturally thrive in positivity. Go with what's easy, go with what flows. People always think just to get a positive results that have to focus on what they want only. No no no, be generally happy, generally positive. And there are soooo many things to be generally super duper happy about, it doesn't have to be some large thing.
I remember once my dad was telling me the story about this homeless man he saw, singing ontop of his voice, he was so happy. So my dad decided, let me stop at find out what this man is so happy about. The man said (Rastafarian, Jamaican accent, bear with me) "I man free, I man have food in my belly, I man can **** when I want, I man free!"
A homeless man, like think about it, some of us stress over things and take for granted the freedom we have in our lives.

Ok I'm ranting too much..but don't forget the joy in life given by things that are free to all of us.

Yes! That's so true, I'm so so blessed in so many ways, my grandfather always told me to say my prayers and count my blessings before I go to sleep and I still try to do that. I know there is so much beauty and love around me even when it feels like my darkest scariest moments. It's like I don't 'deserve' to be happy while things are still unhappy and unmanifested in this relationship.

I think often I feel if I'm not focusing on what I want I'm not doing anything to bring it forth, but then it just feels like effort so creates resistance in me. I'm scared of 'forgetting' what I want if that makes sense.. but no danger in that right now.

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement

lots of love
xxx

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1/14/2016 5:29 am #1

I don't want to be scared anymore

1/14/2016 5:52 am #2

Re: I don't want to be scared anymore

1/14/2016 6:03 am #3

Re: I don't want to be scared anymore

1/14/2016 6:52 am #4

Re: I don't want to be scared anymore

Cherished wrote:

1/14/2016 7:15 am #5

Re: I don't want to be scared anymore

1/14/2016 7:17 am #6

Re: I don't want to be scared anymore

1/14/2016 7:23 am #7

Re: I don't want to be scared anymore

veggiepizzaforever wrote:

1/14/2016 7:28 am #8

Re: I don't want to be scared anymore

1/14/2016 8:30 am #9

Re: I don't want to be scared anymore

1/14/2016 10:12 am #10

Re: I don't want to be scared anymore

Berryluv wrote:

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