So i should share i totally manifested a guy who i freaking ADORE. Ever since I was a teen i said i wanted a country man who is big, loud, handsome, smart and will spoil me.

I manifested my move to Houston from DC and within 3 months met him.

Anyway..we got in a huge fight last weekend. I saw him get s nite from a dating site and lost my ****.After all this time of dating i felt how are you still looking and packed my things to leave for the airpoirt while we were outta town.

As im leaving him he says im not on the site.  Tries to explain i cut him off and leave.

Issue is is that we were on vacation and i was leaving him in Colorado.

We finally spoke this past Thursday  and he shares he was mad because i never asked him..just accused him..and if im honest..i get ads from them all the time and ok i get it i shoulda asked.

Worse part is he was mad because i was gonna leave him in another state. I didnt go..but i planned in it..and you know what i see how he is upset.

I have apologized since but he barely answers. He said that it's a deal breaker and even though we can fix it he feels as though it makes for a real future. And boy that hurts because i should have talked about it vs blew it up.

Because im SO wrong...im having trouble focusing and getting back on my good feeling flying plane.

How do you do it when youre wrong? Any advise? Anyone been wrong and fixed it? Thanks in advance guys!

barbidoll wrote:

My heart goes out to you.  I too was fooled once by someone tremendously narcisstic.  It always starts out wonderful  and becomes abusive and difficult.  Don't blame yourself    The error was not just the responsibility that was forced on him,  but that you were paying attention to someone else.  That is intolerable to him.

Lead with your heart  do what your heart and head tell you to do.   Perhaps use all your wonderful LOA skills to attract a wonderful relationship with a person who is balanced and loves you and the family.

We are all here for you  regardless of the choice you make      Put the bottle away  better yet throw it out for now    you don't need to self medicate    instead meditate on goodness and peace    Don't compound the problem sweetie .  I am here for you    as many of us are.  

 

Omg! Another person...how us this disease not as broadcasted as others!

I'm so happy to meet another "survivor" of it.

Yes...I'm putting the bottle away and thank you for your kind words.

I wish I could hug you 3!

GirlyGirl111 wrote:

Hi there :-)

I've never really commented on your posts because I could see that he had issues. I didn't want to bring you down. I would read your posts and see that he was just like my ex husband who has the same issues. They are abusers and it is not your fault at all.

So many times I've wanted to tell you that you're too good for him and he is not worth your efforts. You cannot help him. I went to therapy with my ex and of course he said the therapists were wrong and crazy etc. No they weren't wrong. He was and still is abusive. I escaped him along with my 2 kids and never looked back. That was a decade ago and I was with him over a decade.

Just know this is not your fault and he is not worth it. You will meet someone who treats you and your baby the way you deserve. Next thing, put the bottle down. It doesn't solve anything. It'll only make you worse off. You need to be strong for you and your child.

I know how it feels to want to make a family work. I had to learn after many years of wasting my life with him....that I could be a family with my kids. You don't need some toxic man to have a family. It doesn't work. I think it's great that you give up on him. Focus on you and your child...your family.

I TRULY thank you for your candor and tell you it's a new feeling of hope but a sour feeling of lost too.

I'm amazed there are others in this predicament. And all along I just thought he was a hurt immature person. I'm glad you learned this and you and your kids aren't stained from the pain it brings.

My ex has been so hard to forget. Three years of bliss and the past two with physically painful confusion. Friends see it as weak or low esteem. But the therapist made it very clear how a person is internally tore to shreds from the influxes of treatment and emotions.

I fear this so much. How are your kids? That's my biggest worry.that mine will never heal from the rejection!

I do hope if you read any other post that are similar sp

Inloveandsohappytogether wrote:

If thinking about him right now doesn't feel good - think of something else. Trying to figure him out when you're already feeling some kind of way is on,y going to give you more of what you don't want. Step away, focus on something else and when you're back in a better place think about it again and see if it still makes you feel wonky.

There is one main question though : we choose who and what experiences we want. Sometimes we change our mind. I have noticed many times in your posts, it comes through as if you feel like he's not good enough for you or he doesn't tick all the boxes of the ideal relationship already in your vortex. And that's okay, but then what will happen is as you're being wishy washy your results are wishy washy.

All you have to do is focus on the best version of your relationship - not him specifically because you'll just manifest more of him being his best version maybe but not with you particularly  - focus on how you are together, give the relationship a life of its own and stop looking at details or what is - which is really manifestations of your past focus ( which you keep feeding when you focus on it )

What will happen is that you will call forth the relationship  ( not just the man ) with him or with whoever is in perfect alignment with it - being open to the fact that you may have outgrown your original desire and it may come in a different package is the mother of all road block removal to manifesting because what you're saying is : I'm no longer holding too tight because I'm scared it might not happen, I trust the process blindly and fully.

In the meantime we will trust it for you .

Ps : when I feel some kind of way : I take a nap. Esther was so spot on with that advice. Sometimes all you need is a reset.

I think this was the best post to read before bed.

I do keep monitoring it now because I didn't before. I can openly admit I enjoyed being successful and all about me! In the process

Knowing him and his life right now you have no idea. He had removed himself from everyone at one point. And from my understanding I was the only person he reached out too really. Not even his folks.


But I have literally been him avoid a message so I do know if he isn't interested he won't.

Then if he is mad at me of course he won't.


But that's where it's odd. He initiates and then no response.

Honestly at this very moment I'm sort of annoyed.

Not with you of course but the entire idea of pinning and focusing and not being able to control manually versus mentally.

Sigh... gotta get ready to go to work..thanks!