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Help me align please... πŸ™ˆ » What do I do? » 6/25/2018 2:13 am

Cait11
Replies: 15

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So tonight my ex and I talked on the phone and it went pretty ok! I wanted to have a good interaction, and i believe we did. The only thing was his current gf kept being brought up once in a while. I didn't really acknowledge her, just stayed the course of the conversation.

Afterwards, my brain went into "Yeah that was great but watch you're friend zoned FOR LIFE" mode. I kept thinking that my ex has been able to completely switch to seeing me only as a friend, despite having been together about 16 months as a couple.

It's quieted down a bit now. I'm going to do my imagining before sleep, imagining us together again and engaged again.

Help me align please... πŸ™ˆ » What do I do? » 6/23/2018 10:53 pm

Cait11
Replies: 15

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fizzy wrote:

Don’t worry about anything he’s saying or doing and just live in your wish fulfilled. It seems like you are creating partial manifestations of what you want, and that you aren’t creating your desired result because you are stopping to analyze what they may mean. He only reflects back what you project onto him and you are the one who gives meaning to everything. So none of this really matters. Always just live in the end.

Β 
Thank you, fizzy! I'm taking a page out of Neville's book (literally) and imagining before falling asleep. Last night, it actually felt really good to do! It felt real. I could believe it.

Help me align please... πŸ™ˆ » What do I do? » 6/20/2018 5:55 pm

Cait11
Replies: 15

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I wish it were as simple as that... My ex is currently seeing the other girl, has been from about 1-2 weeks after the breakup. I've been doing rubbing out, but... Idk what to do about all this.

I feel really hopeless and sad. I know that won't help me, so i definitely need help....

Veronica's 25 Day Challenge » Gonna start this tomorrow! » 6/20/2018 2:15 pm

Cait11
Replies: 12

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Yesterday I said day 7's affirmation, and I read a little more of The Law and the Promise. I felt really low energy, and then my ex called me  (http://veronicaloa.boardhost.com/viewtopic.php?id=8468). He also called me today.

The calls have made me feel very confused and thrown off. If anyone could help me realign, I'd very much appreciate it.

Help me align please... πŸ™ˆ » What do I do? » 6/20/2018 2:11 pm

Cait11
Replies: 15

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Another call.. He asked if i had any crushes and said "Friends help friends chase tail" & I'm thinking "I don't want to be just your friend". He said he showed my picture to his coworkers who said I looked good.

He apologized for pushing me to go out to the club & said it was nice to talk to me yesterday and today. I kept playing the "I'm so sleepy I need to wake up" card to try and be not so responsive. He kept being like "do you have any plans for the weekend? What's on the agenda for today?"

He also said he'd been looking through our old texts for pictures?? And I didn't comment on that but I'm like, why????? And how could he bring them up so casually??

Part of me wants to tell him, "I can't be just friends with you. I still love you and want you romantically. If you change your mind about me, let me know." The other part of me is terrified  by that suggestion.

I'm at a loss.

Help me align please... πŸ™ˆ » What do I do? » 6/19/2018 6:51 pm

Cait11
Replies: 15

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This maybe doesn't sound like a big deal, but I'm feeling thrown off and confused. I need some help realigning.

I just talked to my ex on the phone briefly. Like i said, I feel confused now. He used the term "judgement free friendship"  in regards to us, which kinda made me want to die. I don't want to be friends, obviously, I want him back.

Then he was telling me I should come out to the club to "drive the lesbians wild" or something? Because I have dyed hair, a tattoo.... And then my ex made mention of certain physical attributes of mine (& in a way that he would've mentioned them were we together). He also asked if I'd lost weight and said I looked good or something like that.

He also brought up the cute pharmacist he's been flirting with (who referred to the girl he's seeing as his "current"), and apparently there's a guy he has something of a crush on -- all while still being with that other girl.

I feel thrown off and confused. Are these mixed signals? He kept asking when i would come out to this place, but he also keeps talking about us being just friends. I managed as best I could; I talked to a coach yesterday who said to keep contact with him light and casual, and to not touch on whatever relationship is between us. I don't know if I succeeded in doing that at all, or what to do because he brought it up or what. He seemed fairly high energy, and I tried to act like I was fine and just "whatever".

I've been low energy today while also trying to read some Neville and living from the wish fulfilled. I just feel really weird after this phone conversation. I don't know what to think, especially the way he talked about my body. (And no, I haven't done any RS, really.)

It's just all overwhelming at the moment. And I've been tired and sleeping on and off all day, on top of conflicting emotions, so this is really like "what on earth is going on". Can I please have some help realigning?

Veronica's 25 Day Challenge » Gonna start this tomorrow! » 6/19/2018 3:03 pm

Cait11
Replies: 12

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So yesterday I picked back up where I left off with this. I did the scripting here on the board, under my scripting thread. And last night I did the beach vacation visualization.

I hadn't had any contact from my ex in a week, since that last exchange I mentioned that upset me. He sent me a "wave" on Messenger at 1 am Monday, which I didn't reply to until 4 pm, after I'd talked to a relationship coach. Last night, he sent me a thumbs up, so i sent one back. Now he's asking "Was wondering if you would like me to keep giving you space?"

He's been liking things I post on Facebook and Instagram. Last night, I also did a handful of Agnes's meditations, including rubbing out and sending a third party on their way.

I'm trying to get back into the swing of things and believe. I'm also trying to get to that place of "I don't need you in order to be ok, but i do desire you." Trying to accept and thus release the doubt and fear and missing him.

Scripting πŸ“ » My Scripting » 6/19/2018 12:30 am

Cait11
Replies: 5

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madone87 wrote:

Wow! I love your script. Is that manifested yet? Β 

Β 
Aww thank you! And not yet.... yet! ;)

Daily Manifestations » I think I manifested a thing » 6/18/2018 11:42 pm

Cait11
Replies: 0

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You tell me haha! But I think this was a manifestation.

This past weekend was Pride in my city, and I did go with friends, even though I was feeling really down about it. All i could think was, My person should be here with me, we should still be together. Of course, seeing happy couples and even my friend's engagement ring just made it feel worse.

Saturday night, my friend A and some of her other friends and I decided we'd go out to one of the clubs. I think I'd even previously thought "wouldn't it be nice if i caught someone's attention", but it definitely popped into my head before going. Of course, the place was packed with people, a lot coupled. I tried to just focus on myself and dancing. I got tired after a while and left my friends to it and went to sit in the lounge area.

This cute person came downstairs and we made eye contact. They came over and started talking to me, though they were definitely drunk and their friends were like, "come on, we have to go." After that, I got myself a drink and sat back down. Everyone except A also came off the dance floor for a bit; we even took pictures from the person who was going around taking them. Everyone else went back in, and i stayed with my drink.

Up the stairs comes the person from before and their friends. The person asked if I wanted to dance and i said sure. They actually took my hand to lead me into the crowded room, and we danced up together for a while. It was nice; I mean, it's been almost 3 months since the breakup, can you blame me? i also definitely felt a bit shy.

They did eventually get overwhelmed, I think, by everyone bumping into them (& probably because they were drunk), and I didn't quite know what to do. They did say bye before they left, telling me to have fun, and gave me a tiny kiss.

Afterwards, I thought, Well, I wanted to catch someone's eye, and I did. And then I kinda went, Wait -- did i just manifest this?!

What do you all think? It seems so weird to think, because I

Scripting πŸ“ » My Scripting » 6/18/2018 5:59 pm

Cait11
Replies: 5

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(For day 6 of the challenge)

My love and i spent the day just relaxing at my place. Durin insisted on being in the bed with us, again, despite there being no room. I didn't mind. We were all together again.

Mom asked us if we were hungry, if we wanted to watch anything. We had a snack, sitting snuggled together on the couch. My love and mom talked easily again, and i was beyond content to just listen and be with the person I love. Nobody brought up the past, nobody was upset. We all laughed together. My brother even came out of his room, and my love looked happy to see him. Durin relaxed on his dog bed, in and out of sleep. My love held my hand, idly caressing it as they leaned on me.

It was so relaxing and calm. I felt still for the first time in a while. I felt peaceful. We did nothing all day but talk with mom and chill on the couch, and I felt fulfilled. How could I not, with my love back by my side?

We tried to go to bed early, as my love needed to go to work the next day, but we got... distracted. I wasn't complaining. I missed it. We eventually did fall asleep, my head on my lover's chest. I remember them kissing my forehead, saying "I love you and I'm never letting go again" just before I fell asleep. I said a sleepy "I love you so much," wrapping my arm around my love.

We slept so soundly we almost missed the alarm in the morning. And when it was time for them to go, we couldn't stop kissing. I finally said "You're gonna be late!" with a laugh.

We texted all throughout the day, and talked on the phone when able. I'm so happy. I'm so thankful. I have my baby back, and I'm so thankful to the Universe!

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