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Law of Attraction Discussion » 'Self love' and 'feeling good' are not necessary to manifesting » 9/13/2018 4:04 pm

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Eloquent-euphony wrote:

Then of course, realizing I loved that person for real, and coming to care and be attached again drove that person off and made dating seem difficult yet again.

But this is normal in a relationship, isn't it?

Oh, yes. It was just late when I wrote it out...

To clarify yes I cared and felt love for the person throughout (even today), but wasn't fully invested to where I became attached to the outcome until further on in the relationship because it took me that long to feel safe enough to think about our future. When that happened, insecurities were triggered (unaware at the time to me) because I wasn't used to having things work out when I cared about the outcome. I was then in territory where what I desired wasn't normalized. I had a subconscious belief from my past that built up abandonment issues that people I really wanted to stick around would disappear, and so that's exactly what happened. 

Prior to that when I was enjoying the ride, and taking it day by day, where I wasn't thinking too far ahead because it was fun just rediscovering love and what it felt like, was when that person was most attracted/attached to me. Wanting and needing (to alleviate anxieties) are two very different energies, and the former usually creates attraction while the latter deteriorates it, unless you can reel it in and soothe yourself without needing the other person to do it. Which is why at least when it comes to relationships, practicing self love is pretty important.

Law of Attraction Discussion » 'Self love' and 'feeling good' are not necessary to manifesting » 9/13/2018 6:27 am

I think you could be right to some extent. As much as feeling good, I think a big key is detachment to outcome and a quiet, unwavering belief that the thing you want will find it's way into your experience, without obsessing in timing or the how and putting all this split, muddied energy there. You just have a sense of certainty, you don't have to be on cloud nine emotionally.

Wanting but not needing (being fine with things as they are) and having a clear mind void of attachment has manifested  things in the past. I attracted a relationship close to everything I'd hoped for after I settled into near apathy after a really difficult situation. I definitely was not high on life at the time but I had shed attachment to a person that rejected me and treated me terribly, and came into a sense of independence and not being attached to being with someone to be just "fine". That relationship came into my existence so easily (almost unbelievably so) and with so little effort when I stopped caring, after probably years of me building relationships up to be such a difficult thing.

Then of course, realizing I loved that person for real, and coming to care and be attached again drove that person off and made dating seem difficult yet again.

Recently I've built up a good job and good relationship to be these difficult to attain things in my mind. Basically put them on a pedestal, and I have really good days and really bad ones. And while on the good days things seem to generally flow better, those things haven't gotten closer. Based on this and past experience it seems that it's more importantly about beliefs (x thing just comes to me, it always works out) and detachment to outcome.

A good example that seems to confirm it too is a friend who finds friendships and relationships so easily, has a thriving social life wherever he goes, and things generally work out for him wherever he puts his intentions, yet beneath the surface he's somewhat of an unhappy and unfulfilled person

LOA Questions and Teachings 🙋 » Feel. Good. Now. » 2/12/2018 3:51 pm

Gratitude21 wrote:

I'm still trying to achieve this. Im realizing it now that I've a fickle mind...one day I feel so positive and seems like everything is possible for me. But two days after the fears and doubts are back.
I'm doing my visualisations, affirmations for Self love and for my sweetheart. I broke the no contact rule yesterday by messaging him almost after 2mths. The conversation was light and he said he is on a call right now and will talk to me the nex day. I kept thinking after the conversation that breaking then I contact rule was not bad and the urge to talk has gone and I can continue my no contact again. Today read about writing letters...so started that.
But as the day progressed I started obsessing about his phone call, which never came. It just saddened me.
I know I shouldn't be waiting, but today I couldn't help but keep looking at my phone expecting it to display his number.
Looks like the whole 2mths work has gone in the drain as if whatever I've done so far...the meditations...25days challenge...visualisations...affirmations...RS...nothing has worked. If it did he would have called when he said he will. I've been doing it all with so much love ...not desperation. Then why didn't it work? 2mths of all this should have melted him a little 😔
What am I doing wrong?

 
The core purpose of no contact which I've ascertained from some seemingly well educated sources - see Craig Kenneth and Lucia with the ArtofLove - is to never initiate contact from your end. You're walking away because that makes the strongest statement.

The point is not to try again in 30 days, or 40, 50, 60 and hoping that something you 'did' worked. It's to cut off until they reach out to you. It's got to be their idea! Which goes hand in hand with LOA principles of allowing the universe to bring that person into your life, under the right circumstances and when that person is in the right place again to be open to it. Since he hadn't initiated yet, he wasn't yet

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