I'm at the point that I don't care to do this anymore. I'm not sad or unhappy by any sort. Things are going very well. I love my new job, school is going well, I've made new friends etc. I feel very pretty these days, very accomplished. I'm just exhausted with the whole Austin thing. I'm tired of talking about him, thinking about him, making my day around having to focus on the aspects of attracting him. It may be annoying to read since I've pretty much got him where I want him, but if I'm constantly having to act as if, vis and what not, then I'd rather him just go. I have two jobs now, I'm a full time student, I have our son on my own in Manhattan. Absolutely NO family lives in the northeast with me. I've got a lot to handle, and I'm blessed to have all these things. I cannot let Austin seep into all of these other things and distract me and be my entire life again. All the stuff I have to do to make him apart of my day to day life is too much. I'm a really great woman. I have so much to offer. If he can't see on his own, without my having to work for it, that I'm amazing then oh well. There are a lot of great people that recognize it. For the first time, I genuinely feel like I don't care what happens or even if I end up with anyone. Being in my own is liberating. I've learned a lot about myself in such a short period. I'm still going to be active in the forum, but I'm attracting different things now like a new apartment, more money, that sort of thing. My focus is not on love (except self love), which makes me the odd one out up here, I guess.

Woo! I'm writing a book too. This is the year we get published😄

I forgot to put that the texting thing happened on the 12th, btw. I want to keep everything together in this thread aha

Interesting enough, I'm not super excited about it because it felt right to be there with him and his family today. I like watching this unfold organically and I don't care to force anything or rush anything. It was nice seeing him. It was lovely to see how eager he was to hang on to my every word, to walk me out, hold our hug that he initiated for a long time and he also Went in for another one. He didn't want me to leave. He was still talking to me, but I told him I had to go. I felt like a whole person. Not less of myself because he was in the room. I used to dwindle a bit in his presence, not talk in groups. I was me today. I worried when he came around I would lose myself entirely, but all I've done during this process was learn to stand on my own two feet and if he's down for the ride then that's nice. If not, that's okay too. So far he's pretty down though!

There is a website that summarizes his teachings. I used that and it's worked for me.

Cherished wrote:

If you keep your vibration nice and high, and come at it from a place of genuine unconditional love you will feel inspired to write the perfect response at the perfect time. 💜

 
I said what I felt was right and we've been talking ever since. 😊