I listen to the radio a lot at work and a song just came on that reminded me of a situation when I was 18. I met a guy one night when out with my friend.  He was with two of his mates and we chatted to them for three consecutive Saturdays and then on the third Saturday he drove me home and we kissed, he then went to work away for two weeks promising to get together when he returned, and when he came back he ignored me. When I challenged him he just said “I’ve changed my mind”. I spent a year mooning, crying, trying to get him “back”. Nothing happened, in fact he got someone else pregnant and married her when he was only 19. (they later ended up divorced) Over a year later I just made the decision “you know what, this is just enough” and decided to let it go. None of this was Law of Attraction related, as I’d never heard of it then. Then he told me one night (after I’d pestered him by writing to him and getting my cousin to talk to him for me) that he would go out with me again, and he didn’t, and said he had only said it to get rid of me. I didn’t understand it, because I’m far from being a minger, and he didn’t really know me well enough to make an informed decision about my personality or character enough to reject me. And I knew zero about him too, and probably would have found him not really what I wanted. (but my reasoning at the time was to be allowed to make that choice for myself – just to go out with him and if it didn’t work, then it didn’t).
 
I spent a sum total of 9 hours (and that is being generous) just chatting to this bloke, including about two hours snogging him. And just based on that I convinced myself I was in love with him, he was the one for me etc based on that, which really, is nothing is it?. I had daydreams about us being together, being married and so on and projecting it into the future (would you call that visualising, pussy whipping, or what? I wrote stuff about him in my journal day in, day out. It affected the quality of my life, because I hadn’t got him. I didn’t do it from a LOA point of view as I’d never heard of it). But it took up a whole year of my life. I was into reading romantic sagas back then and I probably liked the drama of the whole thing – I identified with the star-crossed lovers in the book. I even started seeing one of his friends just so I could be around him when we went out (I had more fun with the friend, but we were really only friends)
 
The trouble with this is that this rejection or whatever you wish to call it affected me for years and years – I expected to get chucked by every guy I went out with, or not to be able to get together with someone I fancied because I wouldn’t be good enough for them.
 
How on earth did one person who I knew for nine hours manage to cause that much upset in my life – or more to the point, how did I allow him to because I’m sure he never intended it, he never really thought much about me.
 
Hearing this song was a wake up call. I did all that damage to myself because of distorted thinking and not realising my own worth. I felt that I disrespected myself by all the chasing, mooning and crying. Why do we do this to ourselves? 
 
Curiously though, I’m interested in the daydreaming and writing I did back then – what are your thoughts on this regarding LOA and why I didn’t “get” him?